Taking Chances
by Charged Lightning
Summary: Merlin is left trying to repair somewhat broken friendships after helping a young girl with magic escape from Camelot's dungeons. His life is looking up… until Morgana begins plotting with a rogue band of sorcerers, and he may be forced to reveal his magic at one of the worst possible times yet. Sequel to "In the Footsteps of the Father."
1. A New Day

A/N So here is a sequel! Yay! Despite being labeled angst/suspense, it actually starts out humorous.

This is a sequel to a short, extremely angst filled story. In case you don't want to read the first one, I'll summarize it for you. _Arthur rides out to help a village that was destroyed during Morgana's reign, and in the process, finds out that one of the girls has magic. Unfortunately, this consisted of the girl lighting Arthur's arm on fire repeatedly. He arrests the girl, and to Merlin's horror, everyone seems to follow his lead in hating magic. Arthur then sentences the girl to death, as he thinks that she tried to attack him, when in reality her bit of magic was an accident. Merlin gets angry and fights with Arthur over this, but Arthur doesn't see reason. Then, the girl's brother rushes in and tries to help her escape, but ends up with the same sentence. Merlin resolves to break them out, but in the process, the brother is killed by a knight. Before Merlin makes it to the woods with the girl, he is caught by Gwaine, who consequently helps them escape. Merlin takes her to the druids. The next day, Merlin finds that Gwaine found out about his magic, and the knight accepts him. Things are still strained with Arthur, but he finds out that Arthur regretted sentencing the girl's brother to death and was planning on changing his sentence. It ends with Arthur and Gwen going on a picnic date to get away from all the trouble. Merlin, wanting to know if Arthur is really as cold hearted toward magic as he seemed to be, disguises himself as a child and enchants a flower in front of him, and tells him_ to_ give it to Gwen. Arthur, mesmerized, obliges._

Disclaimer: I don't own_ Merlin  
_

* * *

Merlin jolted awake. Arthur was standing to his side, kicking him.

"Get up, you lazy daisy."

Merlin groaned. He had finally fallen asleep after two nearly sleepless nights. He stayed on the ground, leaning against a tree while Arthur continued to kick him.

"Arthur, maybe we should just let him rest. He's obviously tired." He heard Gwen's voice.

Arthur was still kicking him. "No, he's being a lazy daisy."

Merlin yelped when he felt Arthur kick a bruise on his arm. Why did he have a bruise anyway? He thought for a moment… Oh. For some reason, he thought it would be a good idea to transform into a younger version of himself to show Arthur some 'good magic.' And being small had made him extremely clumsy because he was not used to having to take tiny steps. Hence the bruises. He had begun to doubt the wisdom of his actions every time he tripped, and especially when he wanted to run away screaming after having showed Arthur and Gwen magic. But when Arthur didn't rush forward to kill him, he felt a little better. Gwen even seemed to like his not-so-sneaky display of magic. Still, that didn't make up for the terror Arthur had put him through, or rather, he put himself through. What on earth gave Arthur the right to kick him and call him a—

"Hey, that's my word," Merlin quipped, Arthur's statements sinking in to his foggy brain.

"So is clotpole," Arthur said. "And that's another one that describes you."

"You know, I'm thinking that goblin was right when it turned you into a donkey."

Arthur kicked him harder. "Donkeys? Merlin, you're being a child. That was a long time ago."

Actually, Merlin had been reminded of the incident just yesterday. By Gwaine. "Still a work of genius, though."

Merlin yelped at Arthur's next kick. "Arthur, calm down!" Gwen pleaded.

"And why is that?" the king demanded, ignoring her plea.

"Because you're being a royal ass."

Arthur tried to kick him again, but Gwen jumped in the way. "Arthur, I hate to tell you, but it's slightly true right now."

Arthur's eyes widened in astonishment. "You think…"

"No, no! Certainly not! But he's obviously tired, and you keep kicking him."

Merlin glanced up at Gwen, and grinned.

Arthur looked slightly lost. "Gwen, he's probably hung over or something. I saw him with Gwaine yesterday—"

"Arthur!" Gwen scolded. "This is what I meant! It's times like this that you're being a royal…" she trailed off.

Merlin couldn't help but inwardly cheer for Gwen. Someone needed to point out how much of a prat he was being.

Arthur gaped as his wife proceeded to hold her hand out and help Merlin up.

"What's this?" the king asked, annoyed.

"It's called showing compassion. You should try it sometime," Merlin replied.

"Merlin!" he protested.

Gwen and Merlin chuckled as the king glanced skeptically between the two.

"Guinevere, I hope you know that Merlin wasn't dead or anything…" he commented offhandedly, and looked as if he instantly regretted it.

Both Gwen and Merlin gawked at him.

"Never mind!" he exclaimed. "Back to the castle!" He threw the picnic blankets at Merlin.

Merlin begrudgingly folded them up and began to follow the king and queen. He noticed that the flower was no longer in her hair, but she still had it. He could feel its magic emanating from the picnic basket that she insisted on carrying.

Somehow, that made his insides swirl with excitement. If he was honest, it wasn't a huge step, but it was one. For a moment, he had the slight urge to tell them that it was him, to claim his work, but he knew better. And that feeling passed quickly as he added it to his list of things to share 'one day.'

"What are you grinning about?" Arthur asked him, interrupting his thoughts.

"Hmm. Certainly not the fact that you woke me up from my first chance of sleep in days. Especially since I've had so much work to do."

"Now I know you're just a lazy daisy, because I didn't give you any work."

"Arthur," Gwen cut in. "'I'm sure he was busy. I don't think you realize how much work servants actually have to do."

Arthur was speechless for a moment. Merlin took advantage of this and threw the blankets at him. "Never too late to learn," he said, grinning mischievously.

"Merlin!" Arthur's shout was muffled.

Merlin laughed and strode forward with Gwen. Today was a new, fresh day. Or maybe it just felt like that since he had a tiny bit of sleep.

"Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?" he asked.

Gwen turned around and exchanged a nervous glance with Arthur. "No," she said, her voice wavering, and she bit her lip.

Merlin raised his eyebrows. "Something tells me you two are keeping secrets," he said.

"Hmm, probably true," Arthur responded. "You see, normal, competent people are actually able to keep their mouths shut. Unlike you."

Merlin chuckled at his statement. It was just too ironic.

His laughter was abruptly cut off as a familiar tingle of magic hit him. He stopped, trying to identify where it came from. He felt a tug to his right. _Emrys_, he faintly heard. He wanted to scream in frustration. Who on earth was calling to him now? And something about the tone of that voice made him uneasy. _Emrys_, he heard again, this time pleading.

"Did you see a scary rabbit, Merlin?" Arthur teased.

Merlin stayed silent as the pull became stronger and made him feel slightly dizzy.

"You know, I would normally call you a girl, but Guinevere is here and she's not acting as if she's seen a ghost. So I'm not entirely sure what that makes you."

"Umm, I'm sorry about this, but I have to pee," he blurted. Arthur and Gwen froze, baffled, as he scrambled away.

This tug of magic was unusual. If he stopped, he began to feel dizzy, but he was fine as long as he kept moving forward. _This is meant to be, Emrys_, he heard. Which made Merlin want to dash in the other direction. He didn't want to deal with any destinies or prophecies or any predictions of doom right now. He paused, trying to ignore it. But once again, he felt dizzy when he stopped.

"Merlin?" he heard the concerned voices of Arthur and Gwen calling, far behind him.

He halted where he felt the pull of magic the strongest. "Who's there?" he called.

"It's me," an old voice called. Directly in front of him, a figure appeared out of nowhere. Merlin focused for a while, and felt a sense of dread at realizing who he was.

"You're Taliesin," he said. The old man smiled, and nodded. What was going on? They were nowhere near the crystal cave, and yet this old sorcerer had found him, and used some sort of magic to call him there, apparently. It felt strangely out of place. "But you're supposed to have been dead for three hundred years. How are you here?" Merlin heard a snap in the bushes behind him, but he was too focused on the magic before him to turn away.

"That is not important," he said cryptically. "What is important is that you were brought here in this very moment in time."

"No," Merlin protested, threateningly. "I'm not falling for that again," he tried to move away, but he cried out in pain and crumpled to the ground as his legs resisted. Wide eyed, he pushed himself to his feet. "What have you done?"

Taliesin smiled. "I have done nothing. It is you who tried to resist your fate."

Annoyed, Merlin snapped. "Listen. I don't have time for this, alright? I just watched as my best friends almost murdered an innocent girl, and they did murder her brother. I'm doing everything in my power not to blast them to pieces right now. So could you please not make anything worse?" Merlin heard a rather loud crash behind him, and a startled gasp. He instantly regretted his words, but said nothing else. He tried to turn his head, but his vision went black when he looked away. "And what on earth is going on back there?"

The old sorcerer chuckled. "That is not of any concern."

"It is certainly my concern! If we get attacked by bandits or something—"

"They are not bandits. They will not harm you. So long as you choose your words carefully."

Merlin gaped. How did that sorcerer think that was supposed to calm him?

"But this is not the moment for them to harm you. And they won't ever, physically. So there is no need to worry."

"Why does that not reassure me?" he mumbled.

"It is time for you to follow me, Emrys," Taliesin waved his hand, beckoning him forward.

Merlin stayed there, refusing to budge. He was not following that tricky old man ever again.

The old man sighed. "Very well." He held his hand out to the side, and Merlin jumped as a crystal appeared. Immediately, he felt an overwhelming wave of magic wash over him, begging him to move forward, and he recognized the crystal as coming from the Crystal Cave.

"What are you doing?" he demanded once again. Taliesin gave him a pitying look.

"Since you are not coming to fulfill your destiny at the Crystal Cave, I am bringing the teachings of the cave to you."

"Stop this," Merlin warned, the ground and trees beginning to spin as he resisted.

"Only you can stop this, by fulfilling the fate the crystals have planned for you since the beginning of time."

Merlin rolled his eyes. He really did not have time for anything like this right now.

"Look into the crystal, Emrys. See what is hidden to all but you."

"The last time I did that, I nearly killed Morgana and almost let her murder King Uther. Oh, and she found out that she was Uther's daughter and went even more revenge crazy. Do you want something like that to happen again?" Merlin could hear someone shouting in the background, but his mind was too fuzzy to make out whom.

The sorcerer gave him a sad, desolate look.

"Why are you doing this?" Merlin pleaded. He heard some more rustling in the bushes and tried to turn, but the magic kept him focused forward.

"Sometimes, the truth may sneak up on us, whether any of us are ready to face it." Taliesin held the crystal out in front of him.

"NO!" Merlin screamed, clutching his head as he felt its magic beckoning him to look, stronger than ever before. Why was one crystal affecting him so much? "Go away! I'll blast it to pieces before I look! I have enough m—" his throat tightened unnaturally and cut off his statement.

"Choose your words wisely, Emrys," Talesin replied.

Merlin's throat relaxed, and he began shaking. That was extremely unnerving. And why was this crystal calling to him so desperately? There was only one of them, not an entire cave. Either Talesin had cast some unusual sort of spell, or there was something even more unusual going on... He willed himself to stay put as the single crystal beckoned him, the rest of the world beginning to melt into a haze. He began to sway.

Then he felt someone grab him as he began to fall. "Merlin!" He froze at hearing Gwen's voice.

Then, to his horror, he saw Arthur hobbling up. "Merlin, who are you talking to?" he called.

Exasperated, Merlin pointed. "Him!" Although the world now seemed wavy and dream-like, he saw that Talesin smiled back and waved.

"Merlin," Gwen began cautiously, "there's no one there."

"That old man! Currently waving at us!"

Both Arthur and Gwen exchanged alarmed glances.

"You don't…" Merlin mentally slapped himself. He should have realized that normal people probably didn't see three hundred year old sorcerers back from the grave.

"I think we need to get you to Gaius," Arthur said. Merlin didn't object as Arthur hobbled over and tried to pull him away.

But his magic did. It recoiled on him on the inside, burning and wrenching, and his head snapped towards the crystal. His vision became spotted and some ethereal voice frantically whispered as he was forced to back away. He stared into the sorry face of Taliesin as his stomach dropped and the ground smacked him in the face.

* * *

The next thing Merlin was aware of was his feet dragging on the ground and someone holding him up underneath his arms. He was moving rather slowly.

"Arthur, I told you not to climb up into that tree." He heard Gwen's voice just above him.

"I wanted to see who he was talking to, and—" he winced, "I couldn't see anything from the ground. The grass was too tall."

"And, ahh!" Merlin felt Gwen stumble. He had concluded that for some reason, she was dragging him backwards through the forest while Arthur walked beside her.

"I'm sorry, Gwen, but I can't move any faster. Not without any horses."

"If I remember correctly, it was your idea to not take any. You wanted to 'stop and smell the roses.'"

"I did not say that!"

Merlin could feel Gwen's eyebrows raising at him.

"And besides, this builds strength of character. Argh!—" Merlin heard him trip and land on the ground.

"Arthur, you shouldn't be walking on that," Gwen said, soothingly. "You're going to make it worse."

"I don't have a choice," he responded. "How else am I going to get back?"

"I could have run back and sent out some knights, with horses."

There was a long pause, and they continued moving again, Merlin deciding to pretend to be unconscious for a little while. Besides, he did feel a little wobbly. "Gwen, you know how slow that sort of thing can be. There's usually tons of paperwork to declare someone missing, and then they have to have directions, and they have to prepare. Then they would have to find us in the first place. It can take forever."

"Arthur, it certainly wouldn't have been that much longer. You're the King of Camelot."

"Passing out is serious, Gwen. Especially when someone acts that disoriented. Even a few minutes could make a difference."

Merlin felt himself freeze when he realized what Arthur was saying. He was actually… worried about him. Albeit unnecessarily, since he was perfectly fine right now. His eyes just… felt better closed.

There was a long silence as they continued bumbling through the woods.

"He still blames us," Arthur said, limping along. "He thinks we're murderers."

"You did what you thought was right, Arthur. And I supported you."

"But I don't understand," he said, crying out slightly. Merlin deduced that he must have injured a leg, ankle, or foot. "Why does the right thing feel so wrong?"

Merlin felt a pang in his chest and felt sorry for the king. He wanted to say that he hadn't actually done the right thing, but Gwen spoke too soon.

"Maybe… you don't have to follow your father's path, exactly," she offered.

"How so?"

"Well, you already aren't completely copying it. You knighted some commoners. You married me. And Arthur, you've always been a better man than your father."

Merlin decided to pretend to be unconscious for the remainder of the trip. "But it's magic, Gwen. Getting rid of it was my father's life's work. Surely he didn't get that much wrong, did he?"

"I'm not saying that," Gwen said. "But maybe you could… banish them, instead. Or maybe, punishment isn't always necessary…"

There was a long pause before Arthur spoke again. Merlin slightly cracked his eyes, and thought he could see Arthur nodding. "I never told you what Merlin said."

"What did he say?" Gwen asked, kindly.

"He said that executing sorcerers was… genocide."

Merlin felt Gwen stiffen as they halted.

"What if he's right? There were all those children who drowned in the Great Purge, and even that little boy this morning." Arthur's voice broke slightly.

Merlin could hear the sounds of people out and about, as it was now well into the afternoon.

"But then it seems to corrupt so much. Like most of the sorcerers we meet. And…" he swallowed. "Morgana."

Merlin waited curiously to hear Gwen's response.

"I don't know that much about magic," she admitted. "So I probably shouldn't be one to judge. But I think in the end, you'll be able to tell who's innocent and who's not."

As they made their way up to the castle entrance, Merlin didn't know whether to be angry or thankful for her simple evasion of the topic.


	2. Overheard

A/N Thank you for all the reviews! I noticed that I've had a lot of comments about Merlin being too forgiving. In a way, I don't disagree with you, but I've always thought Merlin was too forgiving of a character.

Hopefully this will explain some of his thoughts?

Seansey—Thanks for the input! I've always seen Merlin as an overly forgiving character, but maybe that's not entirely correct. Hopefully this chapter will explain some of his reasons for his actions? Even if they're not that good? And about the last chapter… I wanted to give Arthur another chance to judge magic, and to me, he seems like the sort that would think that children are innocent and would be more likely to forgive them. (Although we know better! That little Mordred…) Anyway, that's off topic. Originally, I was going to have him encounter another young child using magic, however I thought that would be too unlikely, as magic is supposed to be fairly rare and for most people, only develop at later ages. Since this was the first time Arthur has caught someone using magic in a long time, it would be too unlikely for him to catch another so soon. So I made Merlin deliberately show him.

Anon—Thank you! I look forward to writing them!

PyroET—Oh, wow. You just spoke my worst fears for this fic. I hope it doesn't become too scattered, although I admit it will probably feel that way in the beginning. I'm hoping it will all tie together at the end? And thanks, I'm glad that I was able to create some tension. Nice rant, by the way.

Guest—Yes, I agree. I think his extreme loyalty is more of a flaw, actually.

* * *

Merlin's head felt completely scrambled. After he had woken up, his mind had felt refreshed, and the events of the previous day didn't hurt so much. But that conversation had rubbed something inside of him raw again. He was fighting a battle between his raving anger at the injustice of his king and queen, and oddly, extreme guilt. He couldn't just stand by and watch as Arthur turned into a replica of his father. The sensible thing to do would be to leave, or teach him a small lesson… But he felt a pang in his chest at those thoughts. Arthur, Gwen, the knights… They were his best friends, and had been for _years_. He couldn't just let that go, not when he had wanted to fit in for so long... And Arthur, in every other respect, was shaping into a really great king. There was just this one, major flaw, which was actually Uther's fault. And there was still time to change his mind... And then there was Gwen. She was the most kindhearted person he knew, she just happened to have been raised in Camelot, raised on a lifetime of lies. Plus, Arthur had probably had influenced her, too, in this particular case not for the better. Sadly, the views of the people of Camelot were mostly the same as well. He shuddered when he remembered the glares of the people from that village. So, he guessed that he could understand.

But this was just so _wrong_. He couldn't really stand by while that happened…

He could hear Gaius' words right now. _Welcome to my world_.

And with everyone acting so friendly, it was hard to not fall back into a sense of normalcy.

As they neared the castle entrance, Merlin decided it was time to stop pretending to be unconscious, since he had lost any feelings of dizziness. Arthur and Gwen's conversation had been depressing. And honestly, he had enough of depressing for the past few days. He decided to just forget about it for a little while, like he usually did.

So at the main entrance, he decided to jump up and startle everyone.

"Merlin!" Gwen exclaimed, panting and wiping her brow. He had almost accidentally smacked her in the face.

"Sorry," he said, sheepishly. He felt bad for the work she had just had to do.

"You're alright?" Arthur asked brightly.

"Yeah, I'm alright," he said. Then he noticed Arthur's right arm was hanging crooked to the side, and he could barely rest any weight on his right ankle, which was swollen. That would explain Gwen dragging him. Arthur must have fallen out of a pretty big tree. He opened his mouth to tease him about it, but caught himself. He was supposed to be unconscious during that time.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

Arthur grimaced, and gave him an annoyed look.

"He fell out of a tree," Gwen said, biting her lip.

Merlin's eyes widened. Times like this made it hard for him to stay angry long. "And what were you doing up in a tree, sire?" he asked, politely.

Arthur rolled his eyes, not wanting to answer.

"He was… concerned about you. You had disappeared." Gwen bit her lip again.

Merlin gave him a slightly disturbed look. "Arthur, you do know, we've had this conversation before, about you coming to watch me—"

"You disappeared! For a long time! And we found you babbling about something."

Merlin raised his eyebrows.

"You were! You were having some sort of one-sided conversation."

Merlin rolled his eyes. Arthur could be really oblivious sometimes.

Suddenly, he was smothered by someone's arms. Someone who shouted, "Merlin's back!"

"Gwaine!" he protested.

The knight laughed. Then he stopped, catching sight of Arthur. "What happened to the princess?"

"He apparently fell out of a tree," Merlin replied.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted, annoyed. The king was stumbling his way up the stairs, Gwen following politely behind.

"Would you like me to help you, sire?" Merlin asked.

"No, Merlin. I can take care of myself." He glanced backwards. "Although, I'm ordering Gwaine to carry you to the physician's chambers."

Gwaine suddenly looked alarmed. "What? Why?"

"He passed out," Arthur grunted.

Not wasting any time, Gwaine hurried over, and, to Merlin's horror, scooped him up and darted past Arthur. "Put me down!" he shouted, kicking in the air. This was insane! He was not helpless! At least not anymore… Gwaine wasted no time in racing up the stairs and heading toward the physician's chambers.

The knight burst in and placed him on an empty bed. Merlin immediately stood back up. "I'm fine," he retorted.

Merlin noticed that Percival and Leon were sitting up, their heads still bandaged. Gaius was giving them some sort of potion, which meant they hadn't been cleared to go back to their own chambers. He must have given them really bad concussions.

Arthur stumbled in, collapsing into a chair, accompanied by a concerned Gwen. Leon pointed towards him, bringing his entrance to Gaius' attention.

"May I help you, sire?" he asked. The physician noticed the way his arm was lying crooked.

"Yes, Gaius. Just… fix this," he said, exasperated.

Arthur grimaced while Gaius worked. Then he caught sight of Merlin and jabbed his finger in that direction. "Wait, did you see to him?"

Bewildered, Gaius looked around. "No, sire, he didn't say anything was wrong."

Arthur gritted his teeth. "That idiot! Gaius, he passed out. He looked deathly ill before he did, too. Please, I can wait. See if he's alright."

Gaius was examining his ward, who was standing up and appeared to be perfectly healthy. Then he glanced concernedly at Arthur's broken bones. "Are you certain, sire? Whatever it was seems to have passed—"

"Just, make sure, okay?"

Gaius and Merlin exchanged glances. Giving in, Merlin rested on a bed while Gaius did a standard physical examination. Merlin was wondering what triggered Arthur's excessive worry. He knew that Arthur occasionally was managing to show concern for him, such as when he went back in the tunnels at Ealdor. But surely Arthur had caught him doing stranger things than this. And it wasn't as if he had almost died...

"He's fine," the physician concluded, walking over to finish treating Arthur. Once his arm was set and splinted, he bandaged his ankle and handed him a walking stick. Arthur looked repulsed.

"The arm is broken through," he said. "You'll be out of training for months. And you ankle is fractured as well. You'll need to lie off of it for about eight weeks."

"Eight weeks, Gaius?" he asked, horrified. "Isn't there anything you can do to speed it up?"

Gaius shook his head. "I'm afraid not, sire. Although you can by resting and eating well."

Arthur groaned and Gwen held his hand comfortingly.

"If I may ask, sire, what was the cause of your injuries?" Gaius continued.

"Don't ask," the king replied, quickly grabbing his walking stick and hobbling out the door with his wife.

"So, Merlin," Gwaine piped in, once the door had clicked shut, "Arthur's out. And Leon's out. Which means no training."

Merlin snorted. "Yeah, maybe I won't have to sharpen Arthur's sword for a little while."

"Hmm." Gwaine paced around. "I was thinking maybe I could help you… pick herbs."

"Why would you want to do that?" Merlin asked, dumfounded.

"Oh, let's see. Say, there are a few herbs that have secret, rare abilities that only you and Gaius know about. Those sorts of herbs must have miraculous stories of saving people's lives. That would be something worth hearing."

Merlin blanched as Gaius turned around, his face contorted in horror.

"So! Ready for some herb picking?" Gwaine clapped his hands.

"Erm…" Merlin fidgeted as Gaius raised his eyebrow at him.

Just then, Leon started laughing. Everyone's eyes turned toward him.

"Gwaine, you don't need to invent such an elaborate cover story. We all know what you really mean."

Gwaine and Merlin exchanged alarmed glances.

"Relax. It's no secret anymore. Actually, it hasn't been for a long time."

Merlin felt his heart leap out from him. Had he really been that obvious? The timing couldn't have been much worse…

Leon rolled his eyes. "I'm talking about Merlin sneaking off to the tavern in the middle of the day. As much time as you spend in the tavern, Gwaine, I'm only surprised that you haven't gone with him before."

Somehow, that didn't relax Merlin. Now, he was just annoyed that Leon actually believed that he was in the tavern. And Percival was sitting there, laughing in agreement.

His eyes flashed as he hurried forward with Gwaine.

* * *

"What did you do to them?" Gwaine asked. They were sitting on a log in a small clearing in the woods.

Merlin shrugged. "Just gave them headaches."

Gwaine chuckled. "Don't like that they think you go to the tavern, eh?"

Merlin shook his head.

"Don't worry. In the future, I'll come up with better excuses than Gaius."

Merlin grinned.

"So, first thing. What happened this morning? When you passed out?"

Merlin stiffened. "Oh, that. It was nothing."

Gwaine frowned. "Nothing?"

"Yes, nothing." Merlin felt disgusted with himself. Despite finally gaining a friend who would understand, he was still lying. But he didn't think he could possibly explain about the crystal driving him crazy, and honestly, he wasn't quite sure what happened himself. "I was tired. I hadn't slept in… a while. So I passed out. I involuntarily fell asleep when I did, so I'm fine now."

That seemed to satisfy Gwaine. "Alright. You need to tell me all of the adventures you've been on."

Merlin shrugged again. "There haven't been that many."

"Merlin, I'd be an idiot if I truly believed that Camelot has been saved by all these magical invasions by luck. Now that I know about you."

"I'm not that good—"

"You incapacitated almost our entire guard system! Which, by the way, Morgana better not attack right now. She could probably just walk right in. Unless she ran into you…"

Merlin sighed, giving in. "Alright, I'll tell you!" He settled on beginning with Morgana's takeover of Camelot and working backwards. They talked for what seemed like hours, Merlin's back becoming sore. Throughout the conversation, he almost couldn't contain his excitement. He almost felt… free. He hadn't had a friend who knew who he really was since Lancelot died.

"I hope Arthur does change," Gwaine said, staring across the clearing before looking him directly in the eye. "For you."

Merlin nodded. He used to know that Arthur would change. Now, he hoped too.

"So, now I know who this mysterious Emrys is," Gwaine continued, grinning. "I had heard the name before, in my travels. Only once. But it stood out in my memory for some reason. Something about the way the cloaked people seemed to revere him."

"Really?" Merlin asked. He felt his cheeks turn bright red.

"And I can promise you that I will protect him with my life."

Merlin paused, letting this sink in. Somehow, despite being completely deceitful, he had gained the undying loyalty of a friend. He opened his mouth to speak, but he heard a snap in the woods.

"What was that?" he whispered.

Gwaine turned around and looked at the nearby thicket of bushes, where the snap had come from. He leaned in and whispered, "Rabbits."

Merlin frowned. There were a few more louder snaps.

"More than one," Gwaine continued.

Something on the ground crunched. "Gwaine, I think we need to move."

Just then, the bushes began to rustle, and Merlin jumped as three rabbits came bounding out.

The two broke into a fit of laughter.

"I must say," Gwaine said, catching his breath, "I don't think I could have timed that any better."

Merlin gasped, catching his breath. "Come on," he said. "The prat will be going frantic by now. He may be crippled, but he'll still expect me to do his chores. And he'll have an even harder time dressing himself now."

"Alright," Gwaine said, standing up slowly. "I guess story time's over. But that means we're starting our pranks on the princess. Soon."

Merlin felt himself bursting with glee. He couldn't believe that Gwaine had been so… accepting. At least he'd always have someone who would accept him for who he truly was. Besides Gaius. And if his pranks were slightly more cruel than usual, well, all he could say was that Arthur deserved it.

* * *

"You fool! You're lucky that I can conjure _rabbits_," the dark haired girl snapped.

"Me? A fool? I'm the one who found them!" an older, scruffy man replied.

"And you almost gave us away!"

The scruffy man rolled his eyes. "It wouldn't have mattered much, anyway, would it have? I'm sure you'd have had no trouble killing two magic-less folks."

"That's not the point!" she argued. "We're supposed to be _spying_. Not attacking and getting caught."

The two of them had panicked when they had nearly been caught by the knight and the servant. As soon as those two headed back to the castle, they had scrambled away. Currently, they were trying to make their way through a thicket of bushes with sharp, pointy needles that they had inadvertently run into.

"I think I know of a spell to clear a path for us," the man commented, looking around in the bushes they were trapped in.

"Really?" she said, hopefully. She was holding her bleeding hand.

"Áscýran," he spoke. His eyes glowed gold, and a single needle fell off of a bush.

The girl rolled her eyes.

"No, maybe that's not right. Míging," he spoke. His eyes glowed again, and from nowhere, a splash of water came out of the sky and hit the girl in the face.

Her jaw dropped, and her eyes flashed in fury.

"Alright! I get it! Listen to our mistress and leave the magic to you!"

She glared. "You're lucky I'm much more forgiving than her." She stomped forward, seeming to no longer care whether the bushes cut her or not. Despite her statement, she muttered, "Bryne," and the man cried out as a burn mark appeared down his face.

The two continued on in silence as they angrily pushed through the brush. When they finally got out, they were covered in thorns and scrapes. They both scurried off in the direction of their camp.

They saw her sitting on a log, puzzling over some runes that were carved in the dirt and holding a snake in her hands. If possible, her hair was an even greater mess than the last time they had seen her, and deep bags were set underneath her bloodshot eyes. Her face was deeply troubled, and several open, magical texts were scattered about her.

"Lady Morgana," the man said.

She jumped up and whipped around, dropping her snake and snatching a knife in the process. When she saw the two, she carefully lowered it.

"I trust you bring me good news?" she said, annoyed. The snake circled around her feet and hissed.

"My lady," he said, inclining his head. "We have very interesting news."

"Well?" she demanded, her fist clenching around her knife. The snake at her feet stirred.

The man paused a moment before continuing carefully. "We overheard Sir Gwaine and Merlin."

"And you didn't kill that thorn in my side?" she spat. Her snake was now slithering around her in a circle.

"No, we didn't. But you might not want to just yet."

She scowled.

"You see, I found them. And—"

"Enough gloating. I know better than to believe that you did all the work. Now tell me, whatever it is you have to say."

He gulped. "Sir Gwaine was telling Merlin that he knew who Emrys was. And that he would protect him with his life."

Curiosity flashed across Morgana's face. "And?"

"And, well, we thought you would like to know."

The witch paced around, studying the runes on the ground. She had obviously been working hard on something, but the two rogues weren't quite sure what. The snake spell didn't seem like it would take enough preparation to drive her to this deranged, frazzled state. They watched as she folded her arms, a permanent scowl etched on her face.

"More than anything right now, you need to know Emrys' true identity," He piped in. "You said so yourself."

She cast her eyes dangerously on the two sorcerers. "Tell me this," she said, sauntering forward. "If you caught them alone in the woods, how come you didn't kidnap them and bring them with you?"

Silence hung in the air as the two rogues exchanged alarmed glances.

"No answer?" She narrowed her eyes. "I'll just have to teach you two a lesson then, shall I?" She raised her hand.

"No! My lady!" the girl cried. "They were not alone. They were out with a few other knights. To kidnap them would have exposed us."

Morgana held her glare as the two sorcerers inclined their heads, their eyes pleading in fear. For a moment, the witch stared at her own hand, startled that she had threatened them over this. It wasn't as if there was anything she could do about their incompetence now, and she didn't want to make them too angry. And besides, she liked that girl. She reminded her of herself. Almost the same age, dark hair… and she was good at magic. Not anywhere near her own skill, of course. But they were clearly lying to her…

The other girl looked her in the eye. "I swear on my life, I would never lie to you."

Morgana's eyes glowed, and both of them screamed. It was over quickly, and they both took deep breaths and steadied themselves. Morgana narrowed her eyes for a moment again, then sighed, lowering her hand as if the lie didn't really matter after all. Then her lips twisted into an evil smirk.

"I hear that Camelot's guard system has been weakened after a sorceress' escape from the dungeons," she gloated, thoroughly enjoying herself. The idea clearly thrilled her. "Which… I'd like to recruit her, but that can wait. Luckily for you, the guards will be even more incompetent than usual."

The snake hissed again and barred its fangs, and concerned, she bent down to stroke it.

"You are to go into Camelot, tonight," Morgana ordered, standing back up. "Take two others with you, and capture the knight and that meddling thorn. I want them alive, but you can kill anyone else in the process."

They grinned wickedly.

"But please," she said, in mock concern, "don't leave any trail."

The two of them hurried off to find some of their fellow sorcerers. After her last takeover, which ended in disaster, she had figured out that if she was ever going to be queen, her biggest obstacle was Emrys. Morgana glanced down as her snake hissed once again.

"Don't worry, my friend," she said lovingly, running her fingers down its long back. "Once I know who Emrys is, he's as good as dead."


	3. A Dark Side

Warning: Contains shameless, unoriginal, overused torture and subsequent whumping of a character. Enjoy!

* * *

Merlin watched as he left his room, leaving Arthur's armor polishing itself. Gaius would scold him for being so risky, but he was in too good of a mood to care. He had just been able to show someone who he truly was. Despite recent, tragic events, for once, his life was actually looking up…

He tried to forget about the strange incident with Taliesin, but it was hard to. Especially since the very Crystal of Neathid was locked in the vaults just beneath him. For some odd reason, he could feel its power stirring inside him, much more than its usual, distant hum. As if something life-changing was about to happen.

He brushed that aside. He learned a long time ago that the best thing to do when it came to magical crystals was to ignore them. And Arthur, having been crippled and drugged to sleep by Gaius, wasn't able to give him too many chores. So once he had come back with Gwaine, he actually had some free time for a change, and decided to go to the library and sneak around in the secret room.

Merlin crept down the halls. It was late, so he had to be a little sneaky. He stepped into the library to find Geoffrey asleep at his desk. Merlin tip-toed over to the secret revolving door, pushed on it, and he was spun around.

He could hear the goblin grumbling at his entrance. Shaking his head, he strode over and picked up a large pile of books.

They were all magic books of some sort. None were as elaborate as the one Gaius had given him all those years ago, but some were useful in certain topics. Such as healing.

Merlin had been through all of the secret magic books in the castle's library more times than he could count. But he had to know if there was _anything_ he had missed. Specifically, something that would increase the speed of a healing spell.

Merlin kicked the revolving door shut, almost dropping his huge pile of books. He tip-toed again through the library, and noticed that Geoffrey was still asleep at his desk. He silently cheered. He had almost made it…

Suddenly, the top two books started to tip, and Merlin leaned slightly to steady them. He almost had them...

Crash. He and the entire stack toppled to the ground, and Geoffrey bolted upright, startled. He stared down at Merlin and the pile of books and raised his eyebrows.

"Ah." Merlin hurriedly picked them up, trying his best to conceal the titles. "Just doing some research for Gaius—"

"You're forgetting one," the librarian said.

Merlin frowned. He looked around on the ground, but couldn't quite see around his big stack of books. He had counted them, though, and they were all there.

"It's more of a pamphlet."

Merlin scanned the floor again. He caught sight of it, but couldn't quite reach it with his stack of books.

The librarian sighed and stood up from his desk. Merlin felt his knees wobbling in nervousness as he walked around and picked it up. Geoffrey blinked several times as he read the title, but said nothing and placed it gently on the top of his stack. Merlin, breathing a sigh of relief, nodded in appreciation and hurried out, Geoffrey narrowing his eyes skeptically.

Merlin darted down the halls and reached his room, throwing the books onto his bed. Arthur's armor had finished cleaning itself and was now resting on the floor. He instantly began tearing through the texts, looking for any hints of healing.

One by one, Merlin threw the books down, frustrated. All the books told him the same thing: that healing spells needed time. And time, Merlin learned, was something that he didn't always have.

Sighing, Merlin glanced at the tiny pamphlet that had fallen out. He hadn't seen it before, so the sight of it gave him the slightest amount of hope. Curiously, he unfolded it and read over the words. It was even less useful than the books. It contained only a few sentences in general about healing magic, without any actual spells. In a bit of frustration he crumpled it and threw it across the room.

To Merlin's astonishment, as it hit the wall it began glow to straighten itself out, and it fluttered to the ground. Curious, he rolled out of his bed and walked over to it.

The words had changed. The title, which before had simply read, "Mystical Healing," now read, "Beware." The words underneath made up part of an ancient incantation. He gasped as he recognized it as the first half of a healing spell.

The paper fluttered out of his hands and crumpled into dust. But somehow, the words of the ancient spell had been imprinted in his mind. He shuddered at the frightening power he could feel behind them.

He had wanted a powerful healing spell. Could this be…? It really didn't make any sense. Why hadn't he found such a simple pamphlet before? And why did it say 'Beware?'

He had been through all the healing books several times before… Hadn't he? Embarrassed, he realized that he hadn't looked at those as much as the others. He had only truly gone through them once, when he tried to heal Uther. With almost everyone he loved dying, he would have thought he would have tried to do something like this a long time ago. But he had always carelessly dismissed healing because all the books stressed 'patience.'

Troubled, he decided to let it go for now. A lot had happened in what, only two days? Exhausted, he lay down on his bed and succumbed to a deep sleep, dreaming of using his magic for beauty and good.

* * *

He bolted upright when someone placed a cloth over his mouth. Immediately, his vision blurred and he began to feel dizzy…

His eyes glowed, and the cloth burned red against the side of the man's hand. He instantly dropped it, crying out in pain.

There was another man standing next to the door. His eyes widened. "You… you have magic," he stammered. Then suddenly he began to cackle, and the man beside him joined in.

Merlin gave them an icy glare. It was just his luck that two men would sneak into his room in the middle of the night and try to kidnap him, for reasons unknown. Well, they picked the wrong person. "What do you want?"

"Hmm. _We_ don't want much with you," the man next to him said. He had a raspy voice. "But… our mistress does."

Merlin eyed them warily. This was extremely dangerous, since without thinking, he had just revealed his magic. He debated the consequences of trapping them and turning them in… It was too likely that they would tell Arthur, and from recent events, Merlin knew that Arthur was certainly _not_ ready. Maybe he could threaten them to never come back…

"To think… what the Lady Morgana is going to think when she finds out the pesky thorn in her side has magic," the man by the door jeered.

Morgana? Merlin's heart sank. They couldn't get away now.

The same man raised his hand and said, "Forbaernan," and a flame appeared in his palm.

Merlin's eyes flashed and the flame disappeared as the man tried to hurl it at him. The attacker's eyes widened in fright.

"Uhh… maybe we should call Jasmine?" the raspy man asked.

"Good idea," responded his accomplice. They bolted out the door.

Merlin rolled his eyes. These sorcerers were pitiful. He hadn't shown them anything yet, and they had no business coming in here to kidnap him. He threw out his hand, and the two froze in place out in Gaius' chambers. He picked them up, their feet kicking in the air, and pinned them against the wall. He took slow steps down the stairs, his expression cold.

"Who's Jasmine?" he asked.

"A friend. No one important." The one who had stood by the door cried out as Merlin clenched his hand, effectively crunching him on the inside.

"Don't lie to me," he said. "Believe me, if anyone knows anything about lying, it's me."

"She's part of our band. She's a little better at magic than us."

Merlin narrowed his eyes, but decided to shake it off. There were more pressing matters right now. "What is Morgana planning?"

Both of them clamped their mouths shut. Merlin clenched both of his fists.

"She's been working on a spell! To kill Emrys!" the raspy man shouted, gasping for air, as the other one screamed.

Merlin relaxed his fists, although he felt disturbed by the sight of them, pinned against the wall. "What sort of spell?" he continued.

"She won't tell us everything. But it involves runes and snakes. And it apparently will only affect other magic users," his voice grated on the ears.

Merlin stiffened. Snakes and Morgana were never a good combination.

"Why does she want to kidnap me?" he asked. Obviously, she didn't know he was Emrys. These two hadn't even known he had magic in the first place.

They both remained silent again, refusing to speak. Merlin started to squeeze his hands…

"She thinks you know who Emrys is!" the other man blurted, gasping for air.

"Why is that?" Merlin asked.

They stayed silent again. Merlin suppressed his overwhelming guilt as he crunched them again.

"Two of her spies overheard you and Gwaine speaking!" he screamed.

Merlin's eyes widened in alarm. So that wasn't just rabbits… And that meant Gwaine was probably in trouble. He had to get out of here. Maybe he could just tie them down quickly and figure out how to erase their memories later.

"Who... who the hell are you?" the raspy man croaked. "You're worse than Morgana."

Merlin's froze, letting them drop to the ground with a thud. Hurriedly, they both drew knives and rushed forward…

His eyes filled with gold and they flew backwards, hitting the ground in a heap. Their bodies lay still.

"Merlin?" The astonished voice of Gaius cut through the air.

Merlin turned towards his guardian to see his stunned face. Suddenly, the warning bells went off.

The door burst open, and in walked Elyan. His sword was drawn and he glanced around the room. His eyes widened at the sight of the two dead bodies. Merlin, horrified, stayed silent.

"There's been a kidnapping," Elyan began. "Two sorcerers have already escaped the citadel with their victim. Someone said they saw some men come this way as well. Were these the two?"

Merlin felt his heart beating out of his chest. The kidnapping… Gwaine. But he couldn't do anything, because he had to explain this situation away. The situation of standing over two dead bodies, without any scratches on them. This was almost worse than being caught using magic. In a rash decision, Merlin shook his head no.

Elyan was taken aback. He bent down, examining their bodies. "There's no scratch," he commented. Merlin's heart beat faster. He looked up at Merlin curiously. "How did they die?"

"They came here late tonight," Merlin began, the lie forming easily on his lips. "They claimed to be ill, so we took them in as patients. They were rather depressed, though. Wouldn't you say so, Gaius?"

Shock still written on his face, the Court Physician nodded.

"And unfortunately, they weren't really patients. Not physically, at least. The physician's chambers for them was just access to free poison. They committed suicide." Merlin shook as he spoke. It was a rather dark lie.

Elyan looked distressed at this news. Then he noticed the knives in their hands, and frowned.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking at Merlin skeptically.

Merlin nodded.

The knight still seemed skeptical, but as Gaius seemed to agree, accepted the story, not really sure what else to do. Two guards arrived just behind him.

"You should be searching for Gwaine," Merlin said, hoping to get them all out.

Elyan seemed to snap out of his thoughts. "There's no one here," he reassured the guards, and turned to go out the door, but not before stopping in his tracks and glancing back at Merlin.

"How did you know it was Gwaine?"

"Wha-" Merlin froze. "You told me."

"No, I didn't." Elyan's words hung like icicles.

"I... err... I could sense it."

The two stood there in silence for a moment, Elyan's expression growing quite puzzled. Eventually, the knight left the room and shut the door with a click.

Merlin felt himself sicken. He hoped Elyan didn't think he was up to anything… bad. Merlin shifted awkwardly as he noticed Gaius' face. Gaius knew that he could kill enemies that quickly, but he had never actually seen him in the act. And now, Merlin was forced to stand there, wasting precious moments while Elyan walked away. Finally, the bells stopped tolling. Merlin gave one sorry look at Gaius before dashing out the door.

He only made it a few feet before he was intercepted by Arthur Pendragon himself.

"Let me pass," Merlin demanded. He needed to leave now to go after Gwaine.

"Merlin, it's too late. They've left on horseback."

"I can catch them—"

"There's already several patrols of knights out looking for the sorcerers. I sped up the order. They'll be able to retrieve Gwaine."

Merlin tried to get past, but Arthur, although limping, was still blocking his way. Embarrassed, Merlin felt tears well up in his eyes.

"It's my fault," he said.

Arthur's expression softened. "No, it's not."

Exhausted, Merlin actually sank to the ground. The weight of this burden was once again, his to bear alone. And once again, someone was suffering because of his secret. The halls seemed darker now, and the flames on the torches so lonely.

"It is… my fault. And your knights don't stand a chance against them," he said, choking on his words. It was true. If only two had overpowered Gwaine, they would keep themselves hidden.

"Merlin—"

"Just let me pass!" The servant suddenly jumped up, managing to sprint around Arthur.

"Merlin!" Arthur called. He didn't listen. He felt as if his legs were carrying him to the stables and as he mounted a horse.

He found himself in the woods, not really remembering having ridden out past the lower town. "Íewan," he mumbled, trying to see where their tracks had gone. Several sets of tracks appeared to him, but his heart sank as he realized the large numbers, which belonged to Camelot patrols. Any fresh trail should have appeared gold to him...

He slapped himself on the head. These were sorcerers, working for Morgana. So of course they had erased their trail. He set off, riding blindly through the woods. After a while, the cold, hard truth set in. That his friend was lost.

Merlin rode back into the lower town and finally into the stables. Disillusioned, he walked back into the castle and up the stairs to the physician's chambers. When he opened the door quietly, he stopped, noticing that Arthur was sitting at a table with Gaius, who was apparently treating his ankle again.

"Gaius, I have to be able to walk around. Are you sure that you can't speed it up?"

"I'm afraid not, sire. And currently, you're only making it worse," the physician slightly scolded.

"I'm sorry," Merlin interrupted, looking at Arthur. "I don't think you realize it, but I've endangered your kingdom."

Merlin headed back to his room as Arthur stared after him, perplexed.

* * *

Gwaine awoke to find himself draped over the side of a horse. He tried to move, but found himself gagged, with his legs tied and his hands bound behind his back. His head bounced as he noticed that they were riding at a pretty fast clip.

What sort of bar trouble had he gotten himself into this time? His head throbbed as he tried to remember exactly what happened… Oh. He hadn't gotten into bar trouble. He had been kidnapped by two sorcerers. He remembered waking to them crashing into his room, and immediately drawing his sword. It was dark, and he remembered panicking at the sight of a dark-haired girl whose eyes were glowing gold. He felt himself be disarmed, and had relaxed a little when he realized that she wasn't Morgana. But then she cast another spell and his arms and legs were bound in ropes. Gwaine immediately hopped away, struggling to free himself. There was an older man in the room that darted after him, and the last thing he remembered was being cornered and smothered by a cloth.

They halted, and he saw that he was in some sort of camp. They were clearly all sorcerers, as they were all chanting and trying to conjure flames in their palms. He could hear a bunch of cackling as he was lifted off his horse and thrown to his knees. Two burly men pressed him to the ground, straining his shoulders.

Then a familiar voice cut through the air. "Where's Merlin?"

Gwaine snapped his head around at the icy tone that could only belong to one person. There, before him, was Morgana. But not the one he knew. This one was even more ragged, with her hair a frizzed mess and her dress beginning to tear, and she had a crazed look in her eyes. He noticed that she had some strange vine attached to the sleeve of her dress, which she plucked off and threw into the nearby fire.

"He should be here soon," the girl who had kidnapped him spoke.

Morgana scowled. "He should have been here first. It's far easier to kidnap a pathetic servant than a knight of Camelot."

Gwaine, despite his situation, could only smirk. Merlin had probably outmaneuvered them. If only she knew…

"That's not important anyway," she continued, beginning to step forward. "You've done well," she said, nodding at his kidnappers.

They beamed.

"Well, let's hear what he has to say," she said, her lips parting in twisted pleasure. Her eyes glowed, and his gag fell off.

"Thanks for that, Morgana. I was wondering—"

She took two steps forward and slapped him in the face.

"Feisty, are we?" Gwaine grinned. "That's the way I like 'em."

"Keep your deluded comments to yourself, Gwaine. You won't be smiling for long anyway," Morgana gave him her characteristic smirk. "After all, your fate also awaits Merlin."

He panicked for a second, then relaxed. He was pretty confident that Merlin hadn't been kidnapped, or he would be here by now. He gave her a concerned glance. "But you wanted to hear what I had to say."

She snarled, and spoke a string of words in the Old Religion. Suddenly, he felt a burning sensation run down his chest, and watched as a red glow slowly ate a hole in the front of his shirt, also burning his skin.

"That's better," she said, smiling. "Now, you're probably wondering why I've brought you here."

Gwaine looked up cautiously, but said nothing.

"It seems that you have information I want," she began.

Gwaine shook his head. "I'll tell you nothing about Camelot, Morgana."

Her sorcerers began to laugh, and her eyes widened in amusement.

"I'll die before I betray my kingdom," he continued confidently.

At this, she joined in laughing, glancing around at her sorcerers. "Hear that? He thinks we're after information about Camelot."

Gwaine felt his insides churning. What else would she want?

She began to clap. "Well done, Sir Gwaine. I always knew you were one of the most loyal knights. But, unfortunately, I already know everything about Camelot."

"What do you want?" he grunted. His shoulders were aching from being pressed to the ground so hard.

She looked delighted. "What I want, is the identity of Emrys."

Gwaine froze. Emrys was… Merlin.

She laughed. "So you do know, do you? I thought as much. Your expression says it all."

"I will tell you nothing," he threatened.

"That's what they all say, isn't it? But they all give in," Morgana grinned. She raised her arm and began to speak, but suddenly she gritted her teeth and sucked in a breath. She rolled up her sleeve, and Gwaine noticed that her skin was covered in red blisters.

"What are you up to?" he asked, curiously. "Because I can say, it's not doing anything to help your beauty."

She snarled, and thrust out her hand. His wrists were clamped in shackles.

Then she spoke a few words, and he was lifted into the air and slammed into a huge boulder. He felt chains clamp to his wrists. He tried to pull forward, but the chains pulled taut. They had attached themselves to the boulder.

"I was going to wait for Merlin, but I think we could begin our fun now. Shall we?" she said, motioning towards the knight. The camp cheered. Gwaine felt himself sicken.

"Don't look so worried, Sir Knight," she taunted. "After all, this time I'll provide you adequate supper when you earn it. I won't even require you to sing for it."

He glared.

"So, the rules are quite simple," she began. "You tell me who Emrys is, and I'll let you go," she walked dangerously close to him.

"I don't know," he tried.

"So noble, so handsome," she spoke in his face now. "You really are a true knight." Then she ran her fingers down his raw chest, and he cried out a little.

She leaned in next to his ear and whispered, "That's better." Then she backed away, and dug her fingernails in.

He couldn't stop the cry from his mouth at that.

"Ready to tell me who Emrys is?" she said, more threatening.

He closed his eyes, fighting back tears. "Never."

At this, she let go, taking a few steps backward. At first, her expression was blank. Then her lips slowly crept upward.

"I was hoping you would say that." Then she raised her hand and began to chant. A ring of flames appeared around him, and he couldn't stop the blood-curdling scream from his mouth as his insides were lit on fire.

* * *

**Please review!**


	4. One Step Forward Maybe

A/N Sorry this has been so long! I could give you some excuses but I'm sure you don't want to hear them.

Again, thank you to all reviewers! Some of them have been particularly insightful, and I've paid attention to them.

I was hoping to get a larger portion of this posted before Season 5. Oh well. I'll still continue this no matter what happens, and even if it seems ridiculously out of place.

* * *

Light, then dark. Merlin lay in his bed, staring into the darkness of where the candle had illuminated the room, moments before he had extinguished it. He didn't go back to sleep that night. He couldn't quite fathom how just a few hours ago, he was researching healing spells, and in less than a blink, he was back to killing. But this time, it couldn't be just that. He had to torture them first.

He rose out of bed, mechanically throwing on his jacket and his neckerchief before beginning his trek to the kitchens to retrieve Arthur's breakfast. A distant part of him was wondering why he should bother. It was the same dull process, every morning. It never changed.

Not unlike Arthur's views on magic.

It wasn't long before he reached the wooden doors of now the king and queen's chambers and knocked several times. He expected to have to wait several minutes before Arthur woke up. To his surprise, he heard Arthur's voice saying, "Enter."

Merlin stepped inside to find Arthur and Gwen sitting at their desks going through some sheets of parchment. Despite the sling on Arthur's arm, he was still managing to write. He couldn't help but notice the bags underneath the king and queen's eyes. They must have been awake all night, too.

"You're awake," Merlin commented. He blinked several times, surprised. His voice never sounded that bland in the morning.

"Your observational skills are astounding, Merlin," Arthur replied.

"And dressed." Merlin squinted, realizing that his eyelids felt very heavy.

Arthur ignored him this time, shuffling through some more papers.

Merlin walked over and dropped the tray down on a nearby table with a loud clank. "Breakfast," he said.

There was another knock at the door, this time not his. Arthur threw his hands up. "Enter," he said.

A maidservant walked in, curtseying deeply and holding a tray. "Your majesties," she said, hurrying over and placing her tray next to the one Merlin had brought in. "Breakfast for the queen."

"Thank you. You're very kind," Gwen said.

"Is there anything you need, my lady?"

"No, that will be all. And thank you again."

Nodding, the maid curtseyed again before walking out the door.

Arthur turned in his chair to face Merlin. "See, that is how competent servants behave—"

"How come I never get any thanks?" Merlin glanced back and forth between Arthur and the door. It was a question he had asked before, usually in jest.

"I already said. You're incompetent."

"Arthur." Gwen's voice had a bit of scolding to it. She swiveled in her chair to face Merlin and smiled. "Merlin, thank you for all of your help."

"Thank you Gwen," he said brightly. Nothing like a nice compliment. Even though he had to ask for it. He hurried to dash out the door, since Arthur apparently didn't need attending to right now. He might even manage to get the morning free—

"Merlin!"

The servant sighed. So much for getting the morning free.

"Yes, Arthur?"

Arthur pulled something out of his pocket and unfolded it. "I received a note. From the kidnappers."

Merlin froze. This was not good…

"It says that they have both Gwaine and… you."

"Obviously they don't," Merlin replied, his heart beating a little faster. He figured it was one of those situations where it was best to play the idiot.

"I know that! It's just… why would they want to kidnap you?"

He shrugged.

Arthur rested his head on his hands, his eyes scanning over the note several times. His brow became increasingly wrinkled.

"Is that all?" Merlin asked, already edging his way out.

Arthur waved his hand dismissively. "There's a council meeting in three hours. Don't be late."

"Why?" Merlin asked. He hadn't been previously informed about any council meetings…

"To get you to practice holding a pitcher without spilling it."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "No really, why?"

Arthur didn't say anything, but he exchanged an anxious glance with Gwen, before returning to his paperwork. "You'll find out soon enough."

Merlin hesitated for a few moments, watching them nervously shuffle through papers. Gwen reached for her quill and marked something on several sheets. Usually, they weren't so secretive with their work. Quietly, Merlin tip-toed over to their desk…

Arthur whirled around and whacked him on the head with a stack of papers. "I _said_ you'll find out soon enough."

"But you tell me everything!" Merlin's mouth was agape.

"Hmm." Arthur returned to his work, and Gwen chuckled.

Merlin began to feel a sense of nervousness. They were definitely hiding something from him. And, if past experience was anything to go by, it was never good when Arthur was keeping secrets. But Arthur and Gwen weren't talking. Merlin frowned before walking out the door.

* * *

In the few hours that Merlin had, he decided to search the forest for signs of a frantic escape. The knight had helped him tremendously when Gaius was kidnapped. The least he could do was try some more. So in broad daylight, he hoped onto a horse and rode frantically around the area, looking for a trail. He was sorely disappointed. They had clearly used magic to erase their tracks for good.

He had no more leads to finding Gwaine than any of the knights, which thoroughly upset him. He was supposed to be able to save everyone, and two dumb, mediocre sorcerers had outwitted him. After a few hours of searching, he sighed, giving in for the day. Besides, he had to attend a council meeting with Arthur.

Three hours after last seeing the king and queen, Merlin waited to the side of the council table, holding a pitcher as Arthur had said. He noticed that Gwen's maid was there as well. Arthur had hobbled in, completely disrespecting the fact that he had a broken foot. He refused to use any sort of walking stick. Gwen, dressed in an elaborate red velvet dress, sat down next to him, holding his hand and smiling.

Despite his former anxiety, Merlin already wanted to fall asleep as the council members began to file into the room and take their seats.

Arthur began by addressing the latest threat. Apparently, several of Camelot's guards had been killed in the process. Arthur gave them thanks for having served Camelot well. Oddly, Merlin found that he wasn't surprised. Morgana was clearly getting desperate, and desperate people did dangerous things. His eyelids felt increasingly heavy as Arthur managed to drone on and on about Camelot's defenses.

Gwen, who was queen now, also gave her input, with the older lords sneering at her, mainly because they still saw her as a servant.

Merlin waited patiently as the king and queen droned on and on, with various council members speaking up. The room was awfully bright. If he could just close his eyes…

And then he heard it. The word "magic."

His ears perked up. Arthur typically avoided directly addressing the subject in council meetings.

"It has come to my attention that magic has posed several threats to the kingdom recently. The first being Morgana's last takeover, only weeks ago. The second was when we encountered a sorceress in that village." He paused, and a brief shadow crossed over his face. "The last has been a direct invasion of the castle, resulting in the kidnapping of a knight and the deaths of several guards. Once again, we have been shown the evils of magic—"

"No, we haven't." The words left his mouth before he could even think.

Everyone's jaws dropped as they stared at the servant who had spoken out of turn.

His words hung in the air as he stood there, shaking. What had he just done? Why had he just… snapped? He should stand by, and be a good servant, as he usually did. He shouldn't have said anything… but it was too late to take it back. "We've been shown the evils of those who ally themselves with Morgana."

There was nothing to do but continue as the eyes stared relentlessly and his nerves raced through his veins. "Obviously, not all magic is evil. Take the druids for example. They have been nothing but peaceful."

The entire council remained dumbstruck.

Arthur gawked at him before addressing the council. "Ah-em." He coughed. They snapped back to attention.

"As I was saying… we have been shown the evils of magic, but some circumstances have been to a lesser degree than others. Therefore, Gwen and I would like to add a change to the laws on magic."

Merlin froze. What had he heard?

"We are changing the laws so that the crime of sorcery will only lead to banishment in cases where it does not necessarily constitute treason or other high crimes of Camelot."

Several council members gasped.

"But, sire!" an old, white haired man objected. "The crime of sorcery must always be punishable by death."

The council erupted in murmurs, and everyone began to stand up, chairs squeaking and floorboards groaning.

"Silence!" The queen stood up and shouted.

Several older men snickered, but they mostly fell silent. Arthur gave her an encouraging nod.

"While I value your opinion," he said, addressing the elderly man, "It has come to my attention that the punishment of death is too severe in some cases. Guinevere and I have discussed this thoroughly and have completed the necessary paperwork here." He bent down, picked up a pile of papers, and dropped them on the table.

Merlin jumped at the loud slapping noise, then studied the papers curiously. So that was what they had been working on this morning. This was good, wasn't it? At least one tiny step forward…

It felt like a slap in the face. All the years he had hoped that Arthur would change the laws… and now Arthur was changing the laws to banish him instead of kill him. Which really didn't change anything for him, considering he would have escaped from execution anyway. And banishment was still fairly terrible.

"May I ask, what is your reasoning sire?" another old man, this one with graying, dark hair, asked.

Arthur nodded in appreciation. "My reasoning is that the crimes the sorcerers commit varies. Some may use magic, but without disastrous effects. These people do not deserve to be sentenced to death for a crime they may commit in the future."

_Crime_. The word made Merlin cringe.

"But, sire, if they are merely banished, they may still come back to take their revenge on Camelot."

Arthur exchanged a nervous glance with his wife before taking a deep breath. "We have considered this," he continued. "And we are willing to take that risk."

"You would take that risk? Potentially endangering all of Camelot?"

Arthur paled at his statement.

Gwen was the one to speak up. "We believe that this will save the lives of many innocents."

The man snickered at this. "Is that what you think? Well, you wouldn't know any better, being a servant yourself—"

Arthur slammed his fist on the table. "She is the Queen of Camelot, and you will address her as such."

The man laughed. "I can tell, she's been a bad influence on you, sire. I suppose that's all she'll ever be, considering she won't be able to get anything done herself—"

"Guards!" Gwen yelled. They straightened up, ready at her attention. "Take Lord Howell to the dungeon."

The two guards promptly grabbed him by the arms. Lord Howell shut his mouth, giving a resigned look.

The council stared out the door as he was dragged from the room. Merlin couldn't help but feel a sense of pride for her, despite what was happening.

Arthur was smiling slightly. "Now, back to discussing the laws on magic."

"I think the changes are a good idea," a middle aged woman piped in. Gwen had fought to get her a place on the council, saying that it needed variation from all old, white and gray-haired men. "It shows that you do not want to wrongly convict someone. I think the people will sympathize."

Arthur and Gwen nodded in approval. Approval. Merlin began to silently seethe, staring at the stack of parchment. It just wasn't enough…

"And what would you do to the sorceress who tried to burn you alive?" another voice spoke. "Since you lived, you're saying that you would only banish her?"

Arthur took in another deep breath. "Yes. I feel I may have judged her too harshly before."

The council erupted in murmurs once again. Arthur had to shout to bring the room back to silence. Some of the members began to wear curious expressions.

"I still don't agree," the man who had protested first spoke. "But I see your reasoning. Your majesties," he added, bowing.

The king and queen beamed at this. Some of the council members began to form curious expressions. Gwen spoke. "I'm glad to see that. If there are no further objections, we'll consider this settled."

"It's not enough," Merlin interrupted, and instantly regretted it. What was wrong with him today?

Silence. Everyone's eyes turned back to him, astonished once again that the servant had spoken out of turn.

"It's not enough," Merlin stated, his voice firm this time.

Merlin heard a lone floorboard squeak as the unrelenting eyes stared at him.

Arthur cleared his throat, breaking the dead silence. "That will be all. We're dismissed."

The council members exchanged glances before slowly filing out of the room, still looking back at the servant. Arthur lingered behind with Gwen, whose maid walked out, too. Her eyes were wide with disbelief. The king and queen each took their seats. Annoyed, Merlin strode toward the doors.

"Merlin," Arthur began. Merlin waited, several paces from the hall.

"You know you spoke out of turn, right?"

He said nothing as he turned back to face Arthur. Gwen's face was… curious.

"As my servant, you can't do that—"

"It's still not enough," Merlin repeated. He kept his voice calm and steady.

Arthur was taken aback. "I'm sorry? Merlin, I thought this was the sort of thing you wanted—"

"It's not what I wanted," Merlin replied, his voice soft. He noticed that Gwen was beginning to frown at him.

"Merlin, I don't know what you could possibly want. Magic is ev—not safe. I can't allow it in my kingdom."

That _stung_. After what he had just been through... After what he had just _done_... The king should feel more guilty than that. Was Arthur ever going to change? Merlin glanced out the window. There was a vast expanse of green. Green fields, green forests… where the Druids lived. He squinted to try to see further. They were out there, somewhere. Living peacefully. And they wouldn't likely turn anyone away—

"Merlin, are you listening?"

Merlin sighed, then turned his attention back to Arthur. Gwen had an even more troubled expression now.

"What would you do?" Arthur asked, curious.

Merlin sighed again. Another question he couldn't really answer. But then… Wait. Arthur seemed genuinely interested. This could be his only chance…

He looked Arthur directly in the eye. "Free magic."

Arthur jumped, horror struck. Gwen gave him a concerned glance and squeezed his hand. For a moment, he sat with a horrified expression plastered on his face. Then he relaxed and started laughing.

"You can't be serious," he said.

Merlin stood still, his expression solemn.

Arthur's eyes widened. "You _are_ serious."

Merlin remained motionless except for a short nod.

Arthur actually fidgeted a little. "Merlin, I can't do that—"

Merlin was walking out the council room faster than he even realized what he was doing. He heard the doors shudder when he shut them behind him.

Before he knew it, he was in his room, packing his bag. He shoved in an extra shirt and his magic book.

"Where are you going?" Gaius called. He was at his workbench, mixing some potions. Glass bottles and books were strewn all about.

Merlin stopped for a second. "I'm sorry, Gaius. Somewhere I should have gone a long time ago."

Merlin paid no attention to anyone as he walked down the stairs, out of the castle, and through the bustling lower town. He heard someone shout after him as he bumped into him, sending a basket of fruit tumbling to the ground. The ground crunched underneath his feet as he made his way through the woods.

_Merlin_.

He ignored it. The dragon would probably try to convince him to stay.

_Merlin_!

Kilgharrah couldn't land here. He was in the middle of a thick patch of trees. As long as he didn't go near the clearing…

Suddenly, the wind picked up. Merlin's vision became white and he had the sensation of falling.

Dazed, Merlin found himself in the clearing, with Kilgharrah towering over him.

"You cannot abandon your destiny, Merlin."

"You transported me here," Merlin said, glancing around at his surroundings. He was definitely in the clearing just outside of Camelot, where they usually met. "How?"

"That is not important. Since you ignored my first statement, I will repeat myself. You cannot abandon your destiny."

He rolled his eyes. "I've failed. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Merlin," the dragon scolded. "You have not failed."

He was becoming impatient. "What do you want?"

"You must return to Camelot, young warlock." The dragon bent his neck down, golden eyes focused on him.

"Why?" Merlin demanded.

"There will come a time in the near future when your side of the coin is needed, and no other can replace it."

"You're not going to convince me." Merlin turned around, still baffled at his surroundings. He didn't know dragons could transport people through magic. What other hidden talents did dragons have?

Kilgharrah's eyes narrowed. "Whether I am able to convince you or not does not matter. Only whether you return."

Merlin started walking back towards the forest. There wasn't anything Kilgharrah could do.

The wind rushed in his face, and suddenly he was falling again. He became really dizzy as his vision faded…

The tunnel of white turned into the physician's chambers.

Gaius jumped, knocking over a glass bottle. "Merlin!" he exclaimed. He settled back down, his face bewildered. "How?"

Merlin glanced around his surroundings again. Books, potions lining the shelves… this was the physician's chambers. "That damned dragon," he mumbled, heading back to his room and throwing himself on his bed. Apparently, he was forced to be stuck, waiting again for destiny. One day.

* * *

Please review!


	5. Goodbye

An update!

A/N: Okay, let me apologize for the incredibly long time between updates. I think I even told a few of you that I would update within the week, uh, three to four weeks ago.

And sorry if I didn't reply to your review! But thank you. I've definitely taken some of your reviews into consideration for the next few chapters, whether I replied to them last time or not.

And also, I realize that this story has some problems with characterization, and that it doesn't fit very well with season 5 (by the way, episode 11 was epic!) If there is still enough interest in this fic, I'll continue it; just be aware that it's somewhat bad timing with all the excitement happening in the show right now. I would let you know if I decided to abandon it.

To those who commented about the dragon: Yikes! That's a plot hole about the size of the Grand Canyon, isn't it? Let's just say that Merlin, at the time, still had a few doubts about leaving, and that's why he didn't order the dragon away.

Sorry again about the huge delay in updating. This shouldn't happen again, if you all are still interested, but I wouldn't blame you if you don't believe me.

Disclaimer: I don't own _Merlin_.

* * *

"The best thing you can do is to stay in Camelot." Gaius sat at his workbench, the books he was reading now long closed. His ward sat across from him.

Merlin shook his head, staring at the armor and barely used polishing cloth on the side of the table. For the first time, the metal plates were beginning to show the hints of tarnish. The past few days had been strained. He barely spoke a word to Arthur the entire time he ran around cleaning his chambers and polishing his armor. For what, Merlin didn't know, since he had been ordered to rest. Their exchange of words consisted almost entirely of Arthur giving orders and Merlin asking if there would be anything else. To make things worse, Gwen now seemed to be watching his every move. She kept giving him perplexed looks when she thought he wasn't watching, and whenever he ran into her, she would suddenly get jumpy. Just yesterday, she had run up to him. She had opened her mouth as if to speak several times before muttering, "I'm sorry," then scrambling away.

It was now getting dark outside, the sky a dark, bright blue. Lazily, he let his eyes flash as he lit a nearby candle.

To his surprise, the physician didn't scold him for being careless. Instead, his gaze fell concernedly on him.

"Morgana is plotting again," Gaius continued. "I'm afraid that if you leave, you'll be placing the lives of many of us in danger."

Merlin felt sickened at that statement. That was the main thing rooting him to the ground right now. He guessed that was what kept him from ordering the dragon to stay away and just let him leave.

"And besides, Arthur is changing, albeit slowly. The time will come when he will see his faults and accept magic."

Merlin sighed and leaned back in his chair. "That's what I've been telling myself for years."

Gaius's expression softened as he settled back into his chair as well. "I know. But one day."

"It doesn't feel like it," Merlin said. He stared at the candle that he had lit with magic. It was such a simple thing, so much a part of who he was. Yet, Arthur still would condemn him for that simple act.

He let his face fall onto his hands. "I thought I'd be free by now. That I could use magic without being hated."

Just then, he heard a faint squeak outside the door.

"Did you hear that?" Merlin whispered. Gaius, his eyes widened, nodded.

Merlin stood up and pushed his chair in, making his way over to the door. He grabbed the knob and opened it.

The dark corridor was empty. Merlin shut the door and leaned back against it.

"No one," he said. Gaius breathed, slumping back into his seat.

Merlin stayed standing against the door, his expression becoming troubled. Another close one. And he had just been talking to Gaius, in his own chambers. He wasn't supposed to have to hide here.

Suddenly, there was a knock behind his back, and he jumped. Merlin exchanged an alarmed glance with Gaius before whirling around and opening it once again.

"Merlin?" Gwen stood there in her nightgown, holding a candle. "Can… can we talk?"

Merlin looked back at Gaius, who nodded. "Sure," he said, opening the door wider. He motioned for her to come in.

"Oh. I meant… could we talk… alone?" Her eyes darted back and forth between Merlin and Gaius.

Gaius stood up at his workbench, setting his books aside. "Certainly, my lady."

"Oh, no, I don't mean—you don't need to leave, Gaius. We can go somewhere else, if that's alright?"

Gaius shook his head, continuing to stack his books neatly. "It is no trouble, my lady. I can leave for a few moments. And you don't need to ask permission. You are the queen now."

Gwen looked down at her feet. "I just… I feel like it would be rude not to."

Merlin snorted. "You should tell Arthur that. He barges in here unannounced all the time, demanding this and that—"

She laughed shakily, then fell silent. She looked up at Merlin, a shadow crossing her face for a moment. He felt his nerves creeping up through him, wondering exactly what she would want. She had been acting this strange ever since he had spoken out at the council meeting.

Gaius put on a cloak and headed out the door with his medicine bag. "I'll go and make some rounds that I was going to put off until morning, then. I won't be going far." He shut the door behind him.

Gwen stood by the door, her expression solemn. If Merlin was honest, he was somewhat annoyed. In her moments of silence he picked up the armor on the table and began polishing it mindlessly.

Slowly, she stepped forward into the room. It was then that Merlin noticed the deep bags underneath her eyes.

"It's just…" she began. "I… I wanted to talk to you."

Merlin chuckled slightly. "I thought we already established that."

She shook her head, amused. "It's… about magic."

Merlin dropped the armor with a loud clank.

"I'm so sorry!" she said, rushing forward to pick it up.

Merlin recovered quickly. "It's… fine."

She placed the pieces of armor on the table, then stood still again, fidgeting, avoiding his gaze. Finally, her eyes settled on him.

"You…" she began, he eyes searching, "You defend magic." Her eyes darted away again.

"I defend magic when it's used for good," he said, then felt a pang in his chest. _But you kill_ _and torture with it_, he thought, but quickly brushed that off. He did what he had to do.

Gwen stared at him, then nodded slowly. She took a deep breath. "You…" She let her breath out, shaking her head. Merlin waited.

"It's just… you must know about it."

Merlin stiffened. Now was not the time to reveal anything about himself. Not when they were set in their anti-magic ways.

"I'm sorry! I… I just have noticed. What you say. And… I've been thinking that you probably… were right."

Merlin lowered his gaze to the armor resting on the table, then snapped his head back up. What did she just say?

"Merlin, I trust you. And if you say that magic can be used for good, I believe you."

"Wha—" Merlin began. Was this really happening?

"And Merlin, I'm so, so sorry. I've hurt-" she stopped, looking frightened. Merlin was too stunned to notice. Gwen gulped. "I've hurt innocent people. And… I don't think I can forgive myself." She looked away as tears welled up in her eyes.

Merlin blinked several times, processing this. Gwen was… sorry? "But why are you apologizing?"

Gwen wiped the water off of her face. "I… I always assumed that magic was evil. I blamed it for what happened to Morgana, even for my father's death.* But that was Uther's lies, wasn't it? He brainwashed us."

Merlin eyed her carefully and nodded.

Gwen took several deep breaths, trying to compose herself. "I wanted to say that…" she cut off, her eyes lost. Whatever it was, she couldn't seem to form the words.

"Gwen, I forgive you," Merlin said. And at the time, he meant it.

Gwen nodded, looking slightly frustrated. "You know, Arthur feels really guilty, too."

Merlin's eyes widened in astonishment.

"I shouldn't tell you this, but… he's been crying. Every night. Well, not sobbing or anything, it's just his eyes water a little. He's not sure what to do about magic. But Merlin, I'll try to tell him."

Merlin's head scrambled at this. Guilty? Arthur? Crying? Those were words he didn't usually hear in the same sentence.

"And Merlin?" her words snapped him out of his thoughts. He noticed that she fidgeted some more. "You know you can tell me… anything, right?" Her eyes were pleading once more. Searching.

Merlin's insides turned to lead. "Yes, I know." He made his way back to the armor.

"Anything?" she said, softer this time.

"So you really would let magic be freed?" Merlin asked, trying to stop her questions. Despite the recent, anti-magic predicament, Gwen was making it hard to lie to her.

"Freed?" Gwen said, startled. "Well, it would have to be case by case. I'm not sure how many sorcerers actually use magic for good..." Silence hung in the air as she frowned.

"It's getting late," Merlin said. Her last statement was a disappointment. Did she really think that good sorcerers were that few? He rested the armor and the polishing cloth on the table. He hadn't made any progress on the spots of tarnish, and he found that he didn't care. "You should get some rest."

"Oh... right." She opened her mouth, as if to say something else, but then shook her head. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?" Her voice was laced with a hint of hope.

Merlin answered with a blank stare as she sighed and walked out the door.

* * *

Merlin settled onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. It was completely dark outside now, and he could barely see except for a few dark shadows in the corner. Gaius had come back a while ago and questioned him about Gwen's visit. He told him that she had, more or less, apologized for her actions. Which Gaius was satisfied by.

Gwen had just apologized. So he needed to go to sleep.

But Arthur hadn't, right? And he never knew when or if the prat ever would...

He shut his eyes, trying to relax despite the adrenaline rushing through his limbs. He tried to focus on clearing his mind, ignoring his racing thoughts…

Gwen had apologized. And had hinted that Arthur wanted to apologize, too. That was about as good as it would get with the prat. And he desperately needed to sleep.

He tossed around, once again trying to suppress the frantic thoughts in his mind.

But was sorry enough?

He sat upright and lit the candle next to his bedside with magic. Shakily, he stood up and began to get dressed. He shoved several of his things into his worn out bag, including his magic book.

He set out of his room, opening the door with only a tiny creak. He stepped his feet lightly on each step down from his room, careful not to wake Gaius. He grabbed two sheets of parchment and scribbled down notes on each. One of them he left on the table; the other, on Gaius' pillow.

He crept down the dark corridors. The number of guards was definitely fewer than the last time he was sneaking around the castle. The memories of that made him sick. For the first time since then, a smug smile crossed his face. He was leaving that all behind.

Why had it taken him so long to do this?

The guards fell for the old magical dice trick. He rolled his eyes as they chased after the two jumping cubes.

It was another warm night, with an almost full moon. When he approached the entrance to the woods, he heard it.

_Merlin_.

Immediately, Merlin roared to the sky. There was no way that Kilgharrah could prevent him now.

Merlin continued on through the woods, trying to listen for the sounds of druids speaking in their minds. To his surprise, he was answered with the sounds of crickets.

He shrugged, realizing that it was nighttime. They probably weren't up at this hour. Actually, it was a coincidence that they were awake that other night when he helped the girl escape.

After while of trekking through the woods, he lay down next to a log, ready to rest. To his dismay, he noticed that his jacket was torn. He knew he should wait until he found the druid camp, or at least until daylight, but he was exhausted. Sleep was hard to come by lately.

_Emrys_.

He jumped. He'd heard that voice before, that esoteric echo in his head. Recently.

_Emrys, you must come to see me_.

No. Merlin was not going to see the old seer. If anything, that would cause more problems.

_Please, Emrys. There is something that you must see_.

_I'm not going back there, ever again_, Merlin replied. He waited in the beats of silence that followed. It was odd, having a conversation with someone so distant.

_Emrys, I do not want to have to force you. Please, come to see me at the Crystal Cave_.

_No, I cannot do that. If I see the future, I'll just end up causing it_.

_You would do better to come willingly now, Emrys. Your next visit there will not go as smoothly if you don't._

What was it with magical beings and riddles? Ignoring the last comment, Merlin rolled over and closed his eyes, deciding not to respond anymore. Knowing he would soon be free, he closed his eyes and succumbed to a deep sleep.

* * *

Arthur woke up to the blinding sunlight pouring into the room. Half-asleep, he closed his eyes and lay there, aware that his arm and his ankle still hurt. Why had he climbed up in that tree? He felt Gwen nudge him slightly, but he continued to pretend to be asleep. He wanted a few more moments of rest before Merlin started calling him a lazy daisy.

"And what do the brass doorknob and the sun have in common, your majesties?"

Arthur bolted upright. There, standing next to a cart piled high with fruits, meats, various breads, and gold plates, (yes, gold) was George.

"What are you doing here?" Arthur asked, incredulous.

"I'm here to replace your previous manservant, sire," he said, inclining his head.

Arthur blinked. Surely he was just dreaming. He would wake up and realize that this was one of those hysterical nightmares. He tried to focus his sleepy eyes. No, this must be a prank. Merlin would pop out at any second.

"And where is he?" Arthur asked, growing impatient.

"He…" George shifted uncomfortably "Apparently left, my lord."

"What, is he off herb picking?" Arthur continued. "Or is he at the tavern?"

"Tavern?" George said, looking confused. "I'm sorry, my lord, if you don't mind me asking, but why would Merlin be at the tavern? He despises the place, and would barely have time for it."

"I don't know why! He's always there!"

"Arthur," Gwen said, taking his hand.

"No, my lord. He's apparently left Camelot, according to the Court Physician."

Gwen gasped. George darted his eyes away and set out two napkins on the table. "Well, in response to earlier, the brass doorknob and the sun are both golden-"

"You're not serious that he left," Gwen cut in. Arthur was silently applauding her for reading his mind. George stopped, and his face became grim. Her eyes widened. "You _are_ serious."

"I'm afraid so, milady," the servant said, looking down at his feet.

Arthur wracked his mind. This had to be a dream, didn't it? Merlin couldn't just _leave_. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and his feet made contact with the cold floor, and he froze. Cold. This wasn't a dream.

"When did he leave?" he asked, panicking.

"Sire?" George sounded worried.

"When did he leave?" Arthur had already thrown on a shirt, only to find it was backwards. Where was Merlin when he needed him? Hastily he tried to switch it around, only to get his bad arm stuck. He really should not have climbed up into that tree.

"Could somebody help me?" Arthur said, gritting his teeth.

"Of course, my lord-"

"It's okay, George, I'll do it." Gwen nodded to the servant before hurrying over to assist her frantic husband.

"You should take some knights with you," Gwen said calmly. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"He can't be that far-"

"You're the king of Camelot, Arthur. You can't risk running around in the woods by yourself. It's too dangerous."

"I need to go," Arthur said, hobbling toward the door. grabbing his sword and rushing out the door.

"Arthur!" Gwen called, hurrying after him.

The king half ran and half limped to Gaius's chambers and threw the door open, slamming it against the wall. Gaius jumped out of his seat at his workbench.

"Where's Merlin?" Arthur asked, out of breath.

The physician wore a startled look for a few moments as Guinevere ran up from behind and joined him at his side. He looked down at Arthur's ankle, alarmed. Eventually he sighed and looked over at his table, indicating a sheet of parchment sitting next to his medical books. "I'm afraid that he's left, sire."

No, Arthur thought. No. He can't have left.

"He can't have left," Arthur voiced with confidence. "He's Merlin. No matter how many times I threaten him with exile he still stays around-"

He stopped at the solemn look on the physician's face. What did that mean? Did Merlin really…

"Gaius," he began, "are you saying… he really did leave?"

Gaius drew in a deep breath and let it out before nodding.

"Gaius?" Guinevere asked, a hint of pain in her voice. "Are you sure?"

He gave another solemn nod and indicated to the sheet of parchment again. "He left a note, sire."

Arthur darted forward and snatched up the sheet before he could think.

_Gaius,_

_ I'm sorry, but this is something I should have done a long time ago. Let me know if things ever change, but I don't think I can return._

_ Merlin_

Arthur had to read the words over several times before they hit him.

"Why?" he asked. He looked at Gaius, desperate for an answer.

Gaius hesitated. "I'm not certain, but I think it has something to do with… some of your practices lately."

"No…" Gwen said, a hint of pain in her voice.

Practices lately? Arthur thought. Did that mean…

"Gaius, do you mean… he left because of what I did about magic?"

The physician froze for a moment, glancing between the king and the queen. At their looks of pain, he nodded.

"No," Gwen said, tears forming in her eyes. "I thought what I said would be enough."

Arthur stood there, unable to move. How could Merlin have really left? Of all the times he threatened him with exile, or even fired him, he never left. So why now? He couldn't have possibly been _that_ upset about the magic thing. He understood that magic couldn't just be allowed to run free. He had even reminded him about that several times, most notably when he tried to kill his father. Arthur had assumed that Merlin was feeling bad having to see anyone die… and the servant was being more honest now that Uther wasn't around. To be honest, he didn't like it either. And he himself had just pulled a lot of strings so that didn't have to happen! So why would Merlin choose now to leave? Did he _really_ want magic to be free that bad? And why on earth would he think that was a good thing, with all the damage he'd seen it caused?

_I just… never thought you'd do this_…

But why? Merlin knew that he had to uphold the laws of Camelot… And besides, recently, if he wasn't mistaken, he seemed to be personally invested in this. Why would that be?

It struck him. Merlin had been hoping that Arthur would change. But why would that be? That idiot had to have known that he had to uphold the laws of Camelot. If Arthur wasn't mistaken, the idiot, especially in the past few days, seemed personally invested in this.

A thought passed through his mind that made him shudder, but he quickly blocked it out. He knew Merlin well enough to know that he would never betray him, no matter how furious the idiot became.

So what could be causing this sudden interest in freeing magic?

Arthur thought back to the time he knew Merlin, thinking if anything could point to this.

The only thing he could think of was that time in Ealdor. Merlin's friend, Will, had turned out to be a sorcerer. But for some reason, that didn't quite seem like the answer.

There was some mystery about his father… Could that be? Could his father have practiced magic? It would make sense with the way Merlin was acting… But could that be? Merlin clearly didn't have a magical bone in his body, as he determined a few moments ago.

The king couldn't quite figure it out. But one thing was certain.

"I'm going to find him," he said, hurrying out the door. "Thank you Gaius."

"Sire you need to rest," Gaius said. "Your ankle is never going to heal if you keep running around on it."

"There's no time to rest."

"At least take your armor with you," Guinevere cut in.

Arthur stopped and whirled around. "Oh, right."

He stumbled over to the table and let Gwen help him put it on.

"Sire, you should consider letting the knights go in your place."

"No, Gaius, I need to talk to him. It isn't fair that he's making the queen asist me with my armor."

"Sire, I really think you should-"

"Not now, Gaius." He nearly ran out the door and Gwen followed. He threw open the door to his chamber.

George, who was slouching against the wall, jumped, and straightened himself. He looked down at the floor, his cheeks reddening. "Is there anything you need, sire?"

"No, George," Arthur said, snatching his sword.

"Arthur," Gwen said, blocking the doorway. "Take some knights with you. You're the king. It's too dangerous to run around in the woods alone."

"I'm sorry, Guinevere, but I need to talk to him," he said, gently brushing past her.

"Arthur!" Gwen called, hurrying after him. After a few feet, realizing it was useless, she sighed.

Arthur ran to the stable and jumped onto his horse, ignoring stares from the servants and guards. Later, he would deny ever running down the halls and bolting out from the stables at lightning speed after his manservant.

He reached the edge of the woods. All he had to do was find some sort of trail, and he'd catch up to him in no time.

* * *

Merlin awoke to the sound of a horse riding towards him. It was broad daylight. Carefully, he peered out from behind the log he had been sleeping next to.

He darted back down. It was Arthur. What was he doing here? How did he find him?

"Merlin!"

He would just have to stay here and hope that Arthur didn't notice.

"Merlin." The sound of the hooves stopped, and the voice was directly over him. "We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," Merlin snapped, still lying on the ground.

"Considering that you just ran away, I think that there is."

Merlin pushed himself off the ground and turned around to face Arthur. "How did you even find me?"

Arthur held up a piece of brown cloth. "I'm an expert tracker. And you, Merlin, are terrible at covering your tracks."

Merlin rolled his eyes, despite the fact that what he said was true.

"So, tell me," Arthur dismounted his horse, still holding the reins, "why did you run away?"

"Gaius didn't tell you?" Merlin said, annoyance in his voice.

"He… did," Arthur said, looking at the ground. "But it doesn't quite make sense…"

"Are you too thick-headed?" Merlin asked. His usual joking wasn't there.

Arthur looked up, his face taken aback.

Merlin chuckled. He shook his head before grabbing his bag off the ground.

"Maybe you'll-"

"Can't you explain, Merlin? You used to tell me that magic is evil, and that it could never be trusted."

At this Merlin's expression fell. It still hurt him that he had done that.

"So I would really like an explanation as to why you've decided that it should be allowed to run free."

Merlin looked Arthur in the eye. The prat's face was stone.

Suddenly, Merlin felt a sharp, needle-like pain in his neck.

"Merlin!"

His vision began to blur. He thought he could see Arthur clutching at his own neck before everything turned black.

Something rushed up and punched his right side. It felt rough, like tree bark. Then he rolled and hit the ground, his face in the dirt. Ouch, he thought, aware of the sound of approaching hooves before they faded.

* * *

*I got this from a deleted scene.

Please review! Whether you loved or hated it, or found it somewhere in between!


	6. Poisons of the Past

Hi! Remember me? I was the one who said I would update soon a long, long time ago...

Well, here it is. Finally!

I am terribly, terribly sorry. I have no excuse for taking this long.

Thank you to anyone who is still reading! I appreciate your feedback.

* * *

Merlin awoke with his head throbbing. Sharp pains dug into his back, as if he were lying on rocks. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and immediately shut them at searing pain from the light. He thought he could hear a stream nearby.

"Decided to join the land of the living?"

He jolted at the voice. He thought he could make out the sound of someone cackling, but he didn't want to open his eyes again. It was too bright, and this place was making him nervous.

"I must say, I'm a bit disappointed. You let your half-wit slave driver beat you to consciousness."

Dizzied, Merlin replayed the voice in his head several times before he could come up with a response. Somehow, he knew exactly whom she was talking about. "Nah, have you seen how many times that prat has passed out? He beats me any day."

As the group laughed, he tried to think what he and Arthur could possibly have done this time.

The pounding in his head was getting worse. He began to lift his palm to his head, and to his horror, found that he couldn't move his arms. He tried again, and felt thick ropes dig into his arms.

Ropes… that meant his arms were bound.

"You've escaped _chains_ before. I thought ropes wouldn't be a problem."

There was that voice again. He still didn't know where he was, or what was going on. The sound of the rippling stream was clear now, and the rocks seemed to be getting sharper. There was something else in the air, but he couldn't quite place it.

Merlin opened his eyes, squinting to diminish the pain. He blinked several times, his vision blurry at first. There was someone standing over him, with large, dark, bushy hair…

He bolted upright, only to be slammed back into the ground again with a flash of the witch's eyes.

Merlin lay still for a moment, pain sinking into his back. He heard the raucous laughter of several others nearby. Those must be some of her recruits. For whatever she was plotting. "What are you doing, Morgana?" he said, as blood seemed to rush to his head.

"Why, I thought you'd thank me for letting you lie down. I wasn't that kind to Arthur." She nodded off to her left.

Merlin followed her gaze and found Arthur, his arms and legs tied, sitting up and resting against the bank of the stream. He had a red gash on his forehead, and his broken arm…

His broken arm.

Merlin remembered, and felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He remembered packing his bag, leaving, Arthur following, and lastly passing out. Some of Morgana's lackeys must have captured them.

The king looked pitiful. He was heavily bruised and scraped, and his face was stuck in a grimace. He was sitting up against some fairly pointed rocks.

He really shouldn't be here, Merlin thought. He wouldn't be here, if he knew about the magic, Merlin thought. Besides, too much had been broken. He couldn't really be friends with someone who would banish him, or who had...

No, he couldn't think of that. Which is why he had run away.

"I sense some trouble between master and pet servant," Morgana said. Merlin and Arthur exchanged glances. "After all, it was my followers who heard you shouting in the woods."

A small strand of guilt tugged at him, but he brushed it aside. Right now, he had to focus on escaping, because Arthur, like an idiot, had followed him, and now they were in this mess together. If he could just think, he thought. The ground seemed to be swaying.

Arthur took the chance to glare at his sister from the ground. Not that it helped his situation much.

Morgana gave him a look of fake pity. "Now there, no need for harsh looks. I had no hand in capturing you. We can all amount this to unfortunate timing on your part."

"You'll never succeed," Arthur stated. "Even without me, Camelot is strong."

Morgana chuckled. "Your blades cannot hold up against magic, dear brother."

"They have held up in the past."

"Not because of you."

Arthur paused, looking confused. A slight breeze blew past, and Merlin felt his head pounding.

"Oh, you didn't know? There's been a sorcerer, for whatever reason, protecting Camelot. Not you."

It was then that Merlin's heart almost leaped out of his chest as he realized: Morgana had captured, and probably tortured, Gwaine. And Merlin, deciding to trust him, had told him everything.

Merlin took a deep breath, beginning to feel panicked. He found it difficult to reason with his head hurting so badly. Not to mention this jittery feeling, and the dizziness.

He thought of Gwaine chained down somewhere, at the mercy of that witch. She had a seemingly unlimited supply of creatures to use in dark magic, and though it pained him to admit it, was an expert in the dark ways. She kept more snakes in her hideouts than he even knew about. Chances are, Gwaine wouldn't have lasted long under magic torture. Merlin blocked out the thought that he was probably dead.

And now, there was a very, very real possibility that Morgana knew exactly who he was.

"And once he's dead," Morgana continued, "Camelot is essentially mine."

Arthur was silent. Merlin shivered, and tried to ignore his headache.

"Shall we get this over with, then? I think you already know what I want." She turned toward Merlin.

Arthur's eyes widened at this. Merlin felt his heart thud along with his head. He had to face it: she had been plotting a way to kill him for months. She probably had a dozen snakes lined up to help.

Merlin took a deep breath. He was likely going to have to use his magic.

"No?" Morgana glanced between Arthur and Merlin. Merlin pushed himself up and tried to back away, but her eyes flashed and he hit the sharp rocks again.

He clenched his fists, the pain now deep in his shoulder. He was getting tired of playing the helpless victim every time Morgana confronted him. But what could he do? If she knew he had magic, it wouldn't take long for her to figure out that he was Emrys, and then kill him.

It was an incessant game he played. It didn't even end when he gave up and ran away.

Casually, he looked to his side. Arthur was glancing between them with an alarmed expression.

Funny, he thought. He wasn't even thinking about revealing himself to Arthur.

The king, noticing his glance, straightened up. "Let him go," he said, taking a few pained breaths. Morgana eyed him curiously. "Merlin's done nothing to you-" he cut off suddenly and cried out.

Merlin turned to find Morgana's eyes glowing, and heard a sickening crunch.

Arthur took a sharp breath, followed by few deeper breaths. His other arm was now twisted, just like the broken one. "Please, Morgana. It's me that you want dead. Merlin's just a servant. He's no threat to you-"

"Don't worry, dear brother. You'll get your chance to die." For a moment, Arthur stared at her, dumbfounded. Morgana began her sickly laugh, and Arthur slumped, defeated.

Merlin tensed, unsure of what to do as she carried on laughing.

"You know nothing, Arthur Pendragon, do you?" Morgana smiled, then knelt down to Arthur's level.

Merlin tried to raise his hand slightly, but grimaced again when he realized he was still bound. He stared at her, ready to use magic if it came to the worst.

"Merlin has meddled in my plans more than you could possibly imagine."

Still on alert, Merlin couldn't help but notice something. As ridiculous as it sounded, there was a certain, jagged edge right past Arthur that he could have sworn he had seen before…. And there was that strange, jittery feeling.

"In fact, he has been the one to thwart all of my plans, not you."

At this, Arthur gave a look of disbelief. "Merlin?"

Morgana snickered. "You didn't think that you were responsible for accomplishing anything, did you?"

Arthur's silence answered for her.

Morgana stood back up, amused. "It seems that your pet servant here has been keeping secrets."

"_Merlin,"_ Arthur said, "doesn't have any secrets."

"Oh?" Morgana replied.

"He couldn't. I would know."

The water from the stream trickled on as they stared at each other in silence. Merlin heard some rustling noises nearby, as if there were other people. Probably more allies of Morgana, he thought besides the ones present. He drew in a breath, ready. This was the moment he would find out how much she really knew.

"I suppose it doesn't really matter. His poisons are in the past, aren't they?" She paused here, and Merlin understood. "Besides, he needs to tell me something." Morgana turned toward him and narrowed her eyes.

"I'll tell you nothing," Merlin said, his voice firm and steady.

"Now there, I didn't even ask you anything yet."

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment. The dizziness, the headache... it was getting to be too much. And he was beginning to feel that he was missing something obvious.

Morgana came in closer. Merlin shifted uncomfortably on the rocks. He decided that he hated being talked to while lying down.

Morgana knelt down next to him. As the sunlight poured over the witch's face, he couldn't help but notice the deep bags set underneath her eyes, now bloodshot.

"Where's Emrys?" she asked, matter-of-factly.

Merlin froze, then shivered at hearing his Druid name from her. At the same time, he breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that she still didn't know. How Gwaine could have survived that long, he didn't want to think about. He over at Arthur, whose brow was furrowed in confusion.

"Morgana," Arthur cut in, "doesn't know the names of the other servants in the castle, much less-"

"Do I need to explain the rules?" Morgana said, still talking to Merlin.

"I doubt," Merlin replied, "that someone like you follows any set of rules."

Morgana smiled, pleased. "You know me well."

Without warning, her eyes glowed. A flaming heat overtook him. She had caught him off guard, although he didn't quite know why. He wanted to scream. Or at least jump in the water. But he couldn't; a force was holding his chest down, making it hard to breathe.

"Where's Emrys? And who is he?"

How ironic, that she was asking where he was, when he was right in front of her. Sweat began to pour down Merlin's forehead as he gasped for air.

"I'll tell you nothing," he said, strain in his voice. He was quite surprised that he could still think, since he thought she'd be even more powerful than she was. He scrambled through spells in his mind, trying to think of some sort of subtle magic he could use to ease the pain. And fast.

Morgana's eyes glowed brighter, and Merlin felt a sharp, needle-like sensation fill his blood. If Arthur weren't here, and this wasn't Morgana…

"Where's Emrys?" Morgana's voice sounded annoyed now.

For some reason, Merlin couldn't think of anything that didn't require a long string of shouting in the Old Religion.

His vision was getting blurry now, and his thoughts were becoming clouded. He could hear a female voice chanting…

"Tell me who Emrys is, and this pain will end."

Ah, that would be easy. Emrys was himself.

He opened his mouth to speak, but something stopped him. For some reason, it seemed as if he shouldn't be giving out that information.

But this pain would end, right? This feeling that his insides were on fire.

He opened his mouth again, but was met with angry, glowing eyes and pressing force. At the same time, he felt his mlaksdf release against his will.

For a moment, his heart pounded. He waited for Morgana to fly backwards, for a boulder to explode, for a sudden downpour. Nothing. Except a wave of cooling relief flooding through his body.

Morgana stood over him, her arm outstretched, chanting furiously. Merlin turned to the side to see Arthur squirming and being held down by two older, ragged men he hadn't seen before. The king suddenly stopped, his eyes wide with shock.

"What happened?" A middle-aged woman came down out of the brush, followed by six others.

Morgana looked at her hand, concerned. She held it out again, and her eyes glowed.

Merlin felt the outskirts of her magic wash over him. Somehow, he must have created a magical shield that stopped her from harming him. He didn't know that was possible.

"Tintrege!" she shouted. Merlin looked up at her and simply blinked.

"Not as powerful as you thought, my lady?" Arthur's voice came from the side.

Morgana glanced between Merlin and her hand.

Her eyes grew wild. "Kill them now!"

Her now large band, encircling them, hesitated.

"Milady," a middle-aged man spoke, "don't you still need them for information?"

"Now!" Her shriek was ear piercing.

A young woman stepped forward, gaining the witch's attention. "My lady, we do apologize, but we do still need them. Gwaine hasn't been speaking."

Merlin cringed. Morgana locked eyes with her for a moment, then shook her head. "Merlin's caused me enough trouble to last a lifetime. He'll die now along with Arthur."

"But-"

"Gwaine will speak soon enough," Morgana reassured, seemingly calm.

Her sorceres exchanged glances.

Merlin felt his magic rushing through his veins, ready to use it to escape. It seemed he would have to reveal himself after all.

Suddenly, he felt a large thud on his head, and his concentration was shattered. Someone jerked him by his feet. He heard Arthur yelling behind him.

The jagged rocks sliced his back as someone dragged him across the bank. They stopped at a large, black opening, and Merlin was kicked in his back before he tumbled in. Arthur landed a few moments later, yelping.

Merlin's head pounded harder than ever before. He was hit with an overwhelming sense of nausea and…

Magic. Strong magic. The most powerful he had ever felt. There was only one place he could be.

Morgana's laughter echoed throughout the cave. "You can die, knowing that you're in the birthplace of all magic."

Her eyes glowed, and a pile of rocks came crashing down, sealing them in.


	7. The Cave

Thank you to anyone still reading and/or reviewing! Especially after that huge gap between updates last time.

I don't have much else to say, other than that this chapter is a bit longer than the others.

Oh! And I'd appreciate it if you let me know how this one turned out.

* * *

Merlin lay on the ground for a moment, stunned. Of all places he could have ended up, it was the Crystal Cave. With Arthur.

If magic could scream, it did now. He could feel the power of the crystals pulling at him, as if they were heavy weights. The magic engulfed him, making the walls of the cave spin.

Oddly enough, it wasn't dark. He would have thought being trapped inside of a cave would be dark. Instead, there was a bluish light that illuminated the cave. It must have come from the crystals.

Taliesin had been right, so it seemed. He didn't go willingly, so he had been forced here. To be honest, with everything that had happened, the seer's warnings had slipped his mind. Promptly, he locked his eyes on the pile of rocks that had fallen at the cave entrance. He was sure it was safe. There were no crystals there.

It wasn't like this before, he thought, as a wave of magic hit him. The last time he was here, he could feel the cave's power, beckoning for him to look, but it wasn't like this. Magic had never overwhelmed him as much as it did now.

_Destiny_, he heard, an ancient whisper from the depths of the cave.

Merlin sighed. He was beginning to think the old sorcerer had placed a curse on him.

He decided to try sitting up. He tried to push himself up, only to find that his arms were still bound. He let his eyes glow and freed himself from the ropes.

_Emrys_, he heard, another whisper.

Merlin scooted over to the cave wall and shook his head, ignoring it. Right now, all he wanted to do was rest.

"What a convoluted way to kill us." Arthur's voice made him jolt.

The king was resting against the other side of the cave. He must have wriggled his way over without Merlin noticing. In addition to his previous injuries, he had a deep gash on his left arm, where his shirt was torn. He was still tied in ropes. The walls were still barren and gray at this point. The danger lay futher inside.

"Hmm," was Merlin's response. Now that he thought about it, Arthur was right. It _was_ convoluted. But he didn't expect Morgana to do anything sensible anymore. But... he did remember what Taliesin had said.

_Destiny_, he heard, along with a chorus of other whisperings.

There was definitely something strange going on.

Merlin braced himself against the wall as a wave of magic hit him. The ground seemed to sway upwards.

"Look, Merlin, I'm sorry I—how did you get free?"

He shrugged and slumped against the bare wall. "The ropes fell off when they threw me in here."

"Fair enough."

The words struck Merlin. He could tell by the Arthur's expression that he readily accepted the lie. Merlin hadn't even noticed that he had lied. It was out of habit, really. Normally, he would find it amusing that Arthur didn't notice his magic. Now, it was just pitiable.

Merlin closed his eyes as another wave of dizziness overtook him. Now was not the time to be worrying about lying to Arthur. Now was the time to get out of here.

_Not yet, Emrys. You must look._

Merlin's eyes snapped open, but he didn't dare turn his head. He heard the voice of Taliesin, clear in his mind. Without looking, he could sense him off to the right, next to the treacherous crystals.

"I won't look," Merlin said.

"What?" Arthur said.

_Emrys, you must look. You will not be able to leave until you do._

What did he say? Merlin thought. He needed to pay attention more. His thoughts were becoming too scrambled. He replayed the words in his head until finally, he realized; he would be trapped in here until he looked.

"No!" Merlin shouted, sending a sharp pain through his head. "Don't you understand? Whenever I see the future, I end up causing it."

_You are meant to change this future, Emrys._

"No!"

"Merlin? Are you alright?" Arthur asked.

Merlin felt another pulse of magic hit him. He held onto the edges of the cave wall, his fingers turning white.

"I'll get out of here," he said. If the cave would just become light again, he thought. His vision was becoming dark.

_It is not I who determined that you should be here, Emrys._

Merlin closed his eyes. If it was possible, the strength of the crystals was gaining.

"Merlin!" he heard Arthur's alarmed cry in the distance. The cave walls seemed to be wobbling.

"Just give me a moment," Merlin added.

_You are not going to be able to perform rationally until you have fulfilled your purpose here, Emrys._

"Yes, I will," Merlin managed.

What did he just say yes to?

_No, you will not. If you could, you would be talking to me with you mind, and not be worrying your king half to death._

Merlin blinked his eyes open. "What?"

_Just look, Emrys._

At that point, something in the air changed. The voice was so serene, gentle. How could he refuse?

He began to turn his head to the right, the tension in his neck fading. Why didn't he think of this before? All he had to do was look. The first crystal was a few arm's lengths ahead.

It sat alone on the damp floor, illuminating its tiny blue light. Merlin could feel the depths of its power as his eyes locked onto it.

"No!" Merlin shouted, turning away. The moment he did, it was as if someone had clubbed him in the head. This was a trap. Taliesin was using some sort of spell to convince him to look.

"Merlin!" He could hear Arthur kicking rocks across the cave floor, trying to crawl his way over.

"Make it stop!" Merlin grabbed onto the cave wall.

_It will once you look, Emrys._

Merlin took a deep breath, bracing himself. This would pass, he told himself.

It was then that against his will, his head snapped to the right, and he became lost.

A cloud began to swirl in the lone crystal. In it, he saw Arthur's face, set with a fury he had never seen before. He raised his sword, the one he had pulled from the stone.

Merlin's head lifted, and he looked into the depths of the cave. Rows upon rows of crystals swirled with clouds of magic.

He saw Arthur raising his sword again, the same image as before. The king was in a dark room, and he could make out someone else.

The image shifted. There was someone walking outside in the forest, again at night, wearing a black cloak. Suddenly, there was a scream.

"Please, make it stop!" Merlin yelled. He shut his eyes, feeling as if his eyeballs would explode. His hands hurt from gripping the rocks so tightly.

Magic pried his eyelids open, but this time, Merlin fought.

He watched the figure walking outside again. And again, the figure screamed. The man fell to the ground, thrashing about. He screamed again, taking in deep gasps, before he lay still.

He had seen enough, Merlin decided. He didn't know who that man was, and he didn't want to find out. He began to put all of his energy into resisting.

The images in the crystals danced, and then suddenly brightened. They showed a bright, clear, grassy area, next to a stone wall. Merlin realized that this was the castle walls at Camelot. He saw a snake slithering down the side.

Someone in black darted into the picture and threw a knife at the snake, slicing off its head. A few sparks jumped out as the snake fell to the ground, its blood splattered against the wall. Merlin blinked several times, focusing on the person who had darted in. She had long, light brown hair. When she turned around, he was surprised to see Mira, the girl he had saved from execution.

Something about this unnerved him. He brushed it off, determined not to see any more, no matter what the old seer said. He gathered his strength and began to try to pull his head away.

His head was locked in place, but he kept on trying.

The images replayed. Arthur grabbed his sword. A mysterious man fell to the ground. Mira killed the snake.

A swirl began in the crystals again as he pulled. He got a sickened feeling as he saw Morgana, lying in a white bed, asleep. Her eyelids were flickering.

She bolted upright, gasping, her eyes wide.

Merlin could feel his magic beginning to work. It was pushing against the cave, freeing him from this trap. The tension in his neck was beginning to fade. Soon, he would be able to move his head. He became aware of Arthur frantically yelling his name as he watched Morgana sitting in her bed, still gasping.

Just one last push, and he would be free.

_Emrys! Do not do this! Taliesin pleaded. You are almost there!_

Merlin flooded himself with his magic, hearing frantic whispers from within the cave. He slammed it against the wall of power in front of him. He thought he the face of Gwen face flash in the crystals before he looked up, the whispers stopping. Taliesin was standing right in front of him, his jaw dropped.

"Merlin! Can you hear me?" Arthur's voice was panicked.

Merlin nodded, looking at the old seer, who closed his mouth. His expression was now one of awe.

"Until we meet again, Emrys," he said cautiously. His eyes darted between Merlin and the crystals before he tipped his head and disappeared.

"Merlin?"

Merlin turned to Arthur, who was out of breath. The king had apparently made his way back to the cave wall.

"I'm fine," Merlin said, trembling. And for once he really was. The headaches, the dizziness, and the waves of magic were all gone. And he hadn't been forced to watch anything too terrible, right? He thought of the mysterious man who had died.

Well, considering he didn't know who the man was, he couldn't prevent that. There was nothing he could do to cause anything. He dusted off his hands, and for a moment, was surprised to see they were wet.

"Merlin what was that?"

"What did you see?" Merlin replied. If Arthur said magic…

"I saw you babbling to a nonexistent person and clutching the cave walls as if you were about to die."

Merlin smiled to himself. Typical Arthur. Still unbelievably blind.

"I'm fine," Merlin reassured.

Arthur continued to stare at him, his expression saying that he wasn't convinced.

Merlin shrugged, letting it go. Right now, he was just relieved. All that was left was the usual hum of powerful magic.

It was now that Melrin could really appreciate the power of the Crystal Cave. He could feel how ancient and immense it was. There was no mistaking it; this was the origin of all magic. Magic in its rawest, purest, and most untamed form. There was something dangerously beautiful about it. About something which he dared not look at again. As beautiful as it was, though, he would have to get out.

It was now that the reality of being trapped in here with Arthur sunk in.

This was it, then, Merlin thought. This was the moment Arthur would find out who he really was. He had dreamed about this moment since the day he arrived in Camelot. Come to think of it, most of his dreams were really nightmares. Arthur was usually running him through with his sword, or burning him at the stake, or banishing him. Some nights he was being chased though the forest by the Arthur and his knights. Granted, he had always thought things would be different. That there would be some chance of acceptance.

It seemed so pointless, now. All the time he had wasted worrying about it.

"What happened?" Arhur asked, in a softer tone this time, breaking his thoughts.

"Nothing of your concern," Merlin snapped.

Arthur was silent for a few moments.

"That's the thing," Arthur continued. "I am concerned."

Merlin stiffened.

"You see, you're my only true friend, Merlin, and lately… I can't help but feel that I've lost you."

Merlin shook his head. "You don't mean that."

"Yes, Mer—"

"No, Arthur," Merlin said, calmly. "You don't. Every day, you treat me as nothing more than a servant. You show the utmost respect for the knights and the queen, and I'm treated as nothing."

"That's not true—"

"Don't speak up, Merlin. This is the queen, Merlin, show some respect. You're an idiot, Merlin. Go do your chores, Merlin. Do you have any idea how many times you'd be dead if it wasn't for me?"

"Mer—"

"And yes, there was a time, recently even, when I didn't mind being your servant. It was my job. Washing your socks was what I did. But you can't go saying that I'm your friend when you treat me with no respect."

"M—"

"And then you laugh in my face when I tell you my opinion about magic. You won't even listen. Then you compare me to Morgana—"

"Merlin, I'm sorry!" Arthur shouted.

Merlin froze.

"If I have to say it out loud, then I will. I'm so, so sorry for ever comparing you to her. She's a monster. I don't know what I was thinking."

Merlin took this in. Arthur sounded as if he truly meant it.

"I wanted to apologize before we die."

Arthur's words hit Merlin like bricks. He was thinking that they were going to die here, in this cave. That this would be the end of it all. "We're not going to die," Merlin said, plainly.

Arthur laughed. "Do you always have to be the optimist, Merlin?"

"Me? No, I would normally consider myself a pessimist."

They chuckled. It was a blissful sense of normalcy. Then Merlin's smile faded.

He began to wonder if Morgana's sorcerers were still outside, and if she was still there. If so, it might be better to wait a little before he blasted themselves out of the cave.

That's when Merlin felt something wet against his leg. He looked down to see that the cave floor was lined with water.

Arthur seemed to notice it, too. "Is this coming from outside?"

Merlin looked for a sign of water seeping through the rocks at the entrance. He couldn't find any. "Don't know." Great, he thought. He would have to wait for the sorcerers to leave, sitting in a wet puddle.

He decided to stare at the ceiling. The cave was taller than he thought. This was another detail he had never noticed. He was always stuck, forced to watch terrible flashes of the future.

After a while, Arthur spoke up. "Well, at least I'll have a fitting death."

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked.

"One by magic."

The words cut like a knife. "What?"

The king laughed bitterly. "It would only be fitting for all the Pendragons to die by magic."

Merlin stayed quiet, his expression hardened.

Arthur mumbled something, barely audible. "Of all the times I've doubted..."

"Doubted what?"

Arthur looked up and shook his head quickly. "Nothing."

Merlin shifted, only to realize that the puddle was deeper.

"You know Merlin, I want to thank you for being the only one to never betray me."

Well, that wasn't going to last for long, Merlin thought, a bit hurt.

"Even Gwen, of all people, betrayed me once. But you haven't."

Merlin stood up, sloshing around. The water level came well above his ankles, and he could feel it slowly creeping higher.

"Uhh, Arthur?" he said. He could now feel where the water was coming from, and he wondered why he didn't recognize it before.

"Yes?"

"This is magic water."

Arthur's eyes widened, then he looked around. He seemed to notice it now, too. To Merlin's surprise, he rolled his eyes. "This just keeps getting better and better."

"Morgana must have placed a spell on the cave," Merlin said, pondering.

Arthur looked around in disgust. "How twisted can she be?"

"I don't know," Merlin said, worried. He might have to speed things up a bit. And he still didn't know if the sorcerers were still out there.

An idea crossed his mind. A really, really stupid idea.

Taking a deep breath, he turned around and faced the crystals. The magic in the cave stirred in excitement. He kept it at bay, looking only at the crystal's surfaces.

He was looking at the outside of the cave. He saw no one, just a stream reflecting the low rays of sunlight.

Something didn't sit right with the image.

"Who's there?" Merlin demanded. If he wasn't mistaken, the crystal shuddered. Merlin smiled. Gaius had always said they were treacherous. The picture shifted, and he could see six sorcerers waiting outside, but no Morgana.

In the midst of checking out the surroundings, Merlin heard Arthur laughing bitterly. The king took a few, pained breaths to calm himself. "Sorry, Merlin. I just… think I might know what's happening."

Merlin blinked. What could Arthur possibly be talking about?

Arthur expression became more serious. "Morgana. When she tortured you, she must have messed with you mind, and now you're seeing things that aren't there."

Merlin was at a complete loss of words.

"Merlin, can you hear me?"

Merlin was still to baffled to speak.

The water was up to Arthur's waist now.

"I just have to wonder… " Arthur said to himself, in a soft tone. He seemed to think that Merlin wasn't listening. "Can magic really be that evil? That it would twist someone's mind like this?"

So Arthur still hadn't listened to a word he'd said, Merlin thought. If their friendship had been over before, Arthur had just incinerated every trace of it.

Merlin raised his hand over the water, ready to perform a spell.

It was then that he froze, and a dark thought crossed his mind. What if Arthur pursued him? Hunted him down? Even though Merlin planned to run, Arthur could still make his life a living hell.

Arthur stared, questioningly, at Merlin's outstretched hand.

Merlin was shaking. He took a deep breath. He was panicking for no reason, he told himself.

"Asú—" he began, but stopped. A thought crossed his mind that made him sick.

Should he save him, this time? After all, he could just blast himself out, and no one would ever know.

Merlin shuddered. No, he would save the king. He wasn't Morgana.

He found himself hesitating still, though. That's because Arthur could still turn into another Uther, and chase him down to kill him.

_He won't, Emrys._

Merlin almost jumped in the air. Taliesin was back.

_How do you know? Can you see the future?_ Merlin demanded. He realized that was probably a stupid question to ask a seer who lived in the Crystal Cave.

Taliesin's face saddened. "No, not in this case," he said, to Merlin's surprise. "Not every future is set in stone. But I know this." He outstretched his arm to the back of the cave.

Which Merlin, regretfully, followed. The magic in the cave swirled again. But something was different this time. There was nothing threatening.

He saw a younger version of himself, meeting Arthur for the first time. He took a punch at him as Arthur grabbed his wrist.

The image changed. He was next to a lake, in the forest. He watched as he dived in, pulling Arthur out with him.

The sky darkened, and a flame burst within the crystal. When it faded, he was standing beside Arthur in front of the dragon.

The picture rotated and zoomed in, the sky lightening. He was standing next to Arthur in the bushes, the sword forged in the dragon's breath in his own hand.

A faceless shadow swooped across, and Merlin dove right toward it. The dorocha.

"Why are you showing me this?" Merlin said. He noticed that his voice was strangely soft.

"Because, Emrys, this is something that neither of you will ever forget."

"But it was all a lie," Merlin said plainly. He watched himself standing by as Arthur pulled his sword from the stone. "Even that. He could still hunt me down..."

The seer sighed. "You're just going to have to take a chance that he won't, then. But I would say it's a pretty one good one."

Merlin looked over at the king, away from the crystals. The water was well up his arms now. In this state, Merlin realized, he probably couldn't stand. The expression on his face was one of resignation. Of his own death, Merlin inferred.

"We shall meet again, Emrys. But for now, I leave you with one piece of advice, and it's not what you think."

Merlin turned.

"Beware of dreams." And the three hundred year old sorcerer vanished.

Merlin stood still, the water creeping up his legs. He didn't know what that last comment meant. He could hear lappings against the cave walls.

Arthur's voice came to him, hollow. "If you can hear me, Merlin, I just want to say one more time, you're a good friend."

Merlin decided that he felt awkward, standing there, while Arthur was on the ground saying his dying words, thinking he was insane. Finally, Merlin outstretched his hand and said, "Asúcan."

The cave drained in one swallow. It was dry, and silent. Not a drop remained. Merlin caught a glimpse of Arthur's face. He didn't know eyes could get that wide.

What was done was done. The die had been cast. He turned toward the pile of rocks and blasted them off in a flurry of bits and pieces.


	8. Revelations

A/N: Wow, thank you for the response on the last chapter! It means a lot to me to hear that. I was looking forward to writing that chapter since I decided to write this fic.

And now, the adventure continues...

* * *

It was a cloud of dust. Merlin couldn't see anything in front of him, but he could hear screams.

He coughed as the debris spread. His eyes began to water.

"What happened?" someone shrieked.

The dust began to settle, and the first thing he could see was rays of blinding sun. Shortly, he could make out a few faces. A round, plump man stood a few steps away, his mouth agape. An older, bald man stood behind him, confusion written in the creases on his forehead.

The air cleared, revealing the four other sorcerers. One was a middle-aged woman with graying hair, her features harsh. A young, scrawny man stood to her left. Further back stood a young woman with dark hair along with a larger, rugged man.

They stood still in silence, stunned. Merlin could hear the ripples of the stream.

The round, chubby man shuffled his feet. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

The older woman stepped forward, narrowing her eyes. "Was that you?"

Merlin held her gaze, but didn't move. Her eyes were cold.

The chubby man shuffled some more. Out of the corner of Merlin's eye, he saw him fumbling through his pockets. He drew out a knife, trembling.

Merlin turned and raised his hand.

The man's eyes grew wide, and he stepped back, stumbling over the rock.

"He's bluffing, Edward," the bald man cut in. "I don't know what happened in there, but that wasn't him. He's just Arthur's servant. Morgana would have warned us if he had magic." He smirked, then snatched the knife out of Edward's hands.

Merlin's eyes flashed just as the man raised his arm in an attempt to stab him. The sorcerers jumped out of the way as he flew back and plummeted into the stream with a splash.

The young woman acted fast. "Forwierp!" she shouted. Merlin, caught off guard, was flung back.

Immediately, raw power drenched him, and he realized he was back in the cave. Dazed, Merlin pushed himself to his feet. That's when he heard an angry, hissing voice. "What are you _doing_."

Merlin froze. Arthur. From the sounds of it, he wasn't too happy. Merlin kept his eyes forward. There were more pressing matters at the moment, and he knew Arthur was in no state to even stand. As he walked back out, he noticed the cave opening. If he wasn't mistaken, it looked wider than it had before.

The sorcerers had gathered around the bald man in the stream. He lay still, the waters gently rolling underneath him. The blade sat loosely in his right hand, and a trail of blood had begun to trickle out from his arm.

Merlin asked the first thing that came to his mind. "Where's Gwaine?"

Startled, a few of them jumped. They exchanged nervous glances and remained silent.

"I said, where's Gwaine?"

Suddenly, the scrawny man bolted. Merlin threw out his hand and the escapee froze in place, then sank to his knees.

Merlin could feel the eyes of the sorcerers on him.

"Why aren't you on our side?" The older woman asked.

Merlin paused, thoughtful. He answered them cheekily. "Well, for one, Morgana hates me."

She scowled. "We could use someone like you."

Merlin sighed. It was something they all tried. "Morgana is lost," he began. "She's driven by hatred. That's-"

"But you could be _free_." She stepped forward, her eyes pleading. Merlin could see the desperation in her eyes. "Free," she whispered.

He understood, completely. That's all he wanted too.

"Morgana wants him dead, Fiona," the woman with dark hair spoke. Everyone's eyes turned toward her. "That's for a reason. There will be no convincing him."

The old woman's face grew harsh. She took another step forward, and Merlin raised his hand between them. She stopped, and her lips formed a thin line. She then bowed her head and stepped back.

"You think Arthur's going to give you freedom?"

For many years of his life, he would have said yes. Now, he knew the answer was no.

"Why are you so powerful?" A new voice spoke. Merlin noticed this belonged to the man in the back.

Merlin remained silent. He had no intentions of letting them know he was Emrys. The less they knew, the better.

At some point, Merlin began to notice that he felt drained, as if he hadn't eaten in days.

"I'll give you one more chance," Merlin started. "If you tell me where-"

"Besweðe rápum!" The young woman with dark hair threw out her hand, but not at Merlin. His gaze followed her outstretched arm to find a cart that he hadn't noticed before. Suddenly, ropes shot out of the cart and toward him.

Merlin's eyes glowed, and the ropes whipped back and twisted around her. She fell, letting out a cry of pain.

"Bælþracu!" someone shouted from behind. Merlin knew it was fire. His eyes glowed, and the flames dissipated. Whoever sent it was thrown back.

The group fell silent. Then suddenly someone gasped.

The scrawny man was kneeling in the stream beside the body, his hands on the sides of his neck. He withdrew them, shaking. What was once a trickle was now a pool of blood in the water. "H-h-he's dead."

He turned toward Merlin, his eyes wide with fear. Merlin kept his gaze cold. "You're Emrys."

Merlin felt the blood from his face drain. How had he figured that out?

"Impossible," the rugged man whispered. "How-"

"It-it's the only way h-he could have…"

"Spit it out!"

"…. k-killed, Alden. K-killed without using any spell. Only Emrys could be that powerful. Like Morgana…"

Merlin felt their eyes on him again. "No," he started, looking down. "I don't know who you're talking about."

His words seemed to have the opposite effect. Suddenly Fiona stepped forward, her eyes blazing with fury. "You!" she screeched. "How can you stand by that bloodthirsty tyrant?"

Merlin felt a lump on his throat. He could tell this was not going to end well. Not that it ever would have.

"Me?" he tried. "I think you're mistaken. I'm just a simple peasant, who's learned a few spells. I'm not Emrys…"

Her face grew infuriated. "Liar!" she spat. "You're a murderer! A traitor! You've helped slaughter your own kind!"

Merlin began to feel sick. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the chubby man, Edward, he remembered. Apparently he was the one who had tried to throw fire at him. He had survived.

Alden stepped forward. "I must say, I was expecting more." He grinned wickedly. He caught the eyes of the other two sorcerers, and they formed a line. "Together?" he asked. They nodded.

All three of them began to line up…

"Bælþracu!"

"Ofáwierp!"

"Spearce!" They all shouted, roughly at the same time.

Merlin's eyes flashed, and they flew back and landed with a thud. Their bodies lay sprawled, dead.

In the silence that followed, Merlin noticed the rushing of the stream again. The glare of the sunlight reflecting from the water made him want to squint.

Just then he heard a sickly laugh.

He turned and found the dark haired girl sitting on the ground, still wrapped up in ropes.

"Think you'll find your precious knight now? After killing everyone who knows where he's at?"

Merlin felt a small bit of fury bubble underneath his skin, but he kept it down. Taking any life was not something to be taken lightly. But what choice did he have? They were there to kill him.

And he was hoping they would get the message. That they would fear him, for being so powerful, and tell him where Gwaine was. Then he could ask them what Morgana was planning.

"It doesn't have to be like this," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Did your precious king know?"

The question caught him off guard. "What?"

"Arthur? Did he know? About your magic?"

Merlin looked down. He didn't want to think about Arthur at the moment.

"I take that as a no." She smiled widely. "And judging by the looks of him, he isn't too happy."

Merlin continued to look down. He didn't dare look over at the cave, at Arthur. After all, he had to figure out what to do with these last two sorcerers. The other one was still kneeling beside the bald man, shaking. He felt a sense of pity.

He couldn't help but feel like he was missing something important about the young woman...

He guessed the ropes were meant to block magic, and that was why she wasn't using any now.

"It's a shame Morgana didn't stay. Oh, the fun she would have had, knowing who you were… By the way, have you grown soft, Emrys? You still have two of us to finish off."

He still felt sick from that incident with the kidnappers. Mostly because they had compared him to Morgana. And what good had it done him? They didn't even seem to know much. Other than Morgana was plotting and they were looking for someone…

"You were there," Merlin said in realization.

She laughed. "You'll have to be more specific-"

"You were there with the sorcerers who kidnapped Gwaine."

Her expression was blank, and unreadable.

"So was Alden," she said, eventually, before bowing her head. "I live to serve Lady Morgana, nothing more."

Suddenly, the scrawny man bolted up and ran towards them. He fell to his knees in front of Merlin.

"Please, Emrys! Spare me! I will tell you anything! I promise!"

"Silas, _no_," the dark haired woman spoke.

Merlin hardened his gaze.

"Please!" he begged. "I only joined Morgana to prove myself. To prove that I wasn't a coward."

Merlin's face hardened. "Silas, is it?"

He gulped, then nodded.

"The thing is, I don't know if you're lying."

Silas shuddered, then relaxed. "There's a crow, sitting in a cage, over in that cart."

Suddenly the girl's face grew alarmed. "Silas, what are you doing?"

"There are several sheets of parchment next to it, along with some ink."

"What the hell? You serve Morgana!"

"If you don't write to Morgana and tell her that both you and Arthur are dead, she's going to come back to check on us. She said she would if she didn't get the letter."

Merlin only needed one look at the woman's face to know that it was true. He threw his hand out and the cart rolled up next to them. He wasn't letting these sorcerers out of his sight.

He snatched up the parchment, quill, and ink, and handed it to Silas, narrowing his eyes. "Write it."

He grabbed it, his hands shaking. Slowly he wrote the letter.

Merlin held out his hand. The boy looked up and handed it to him, his hands trembling.

Merlin snatched it, and read it over. Carefully, he rolled it up, and attached it to the bird's leg using a piece of string. He had to use magic to get the bird to stay in one place.

"Offlíeg ond mitte Morgana," he said, once he was finished.

The bird let out a caw as it took flight toward the blazing sun.

"Now tell where to find Gwaine."

Silas opened his mouth, but paused.

Merlin raised his hand.

"He's at Morgana's camp!"

Merlin shook his head and folded his arms. "You're going to have to tell me more than that."

"It's a long way off to the west… maybe a day, if you travel fast. But you're not going to be able to find it."

"How come?"

The sorcerer gulped. "She's started to hide it with magic. Even I don't know exactly where to find it."

"Silas…" Merlin warned.

"I swear it! She doesn't trust everyone completely."

If it was hidden with magic… Merlin could probably sense it when he got close enough.

"How is he?"

Silas paused. "He's… fine."

Merlin glared, suspicious.

"He really is! I don't know why, or how, but he's fine. He's been unconscious most of the time, so Morgana's only tortured him once."

That... surprised Merlin. If it were true, it almost sounded as if someone was keeping him that way on purpose.

"Now, please, Emrys, let me go…"

"What's Morgana planning? Is she going to attack Camelot?"

"I… I don't know," he said, looking down.

Merlin raised his hand again.

"Yes! I assume. She waiting until Emrys is dead. She says she won't attack until then, because she knows he'll interfere."

There were a few beats of silence. "What aren't you telling me?"

"That's it! I swear!" Silas stood up, looking down. He backed away. Merlin was beginning to feel sorry for him. Maybe, he thought, this man had changed his mind. He looked up at Merlin, his dark eyes filled with sorrow. "I'm sorry, Merlin, this is the only way. Aræfe."

His eyes glowed. Merlin heard laughter from behind. "Thanks for freeing me. I knew you'd pull through."

Merlin felt his heart sink a little. "Here I thought you'd had a change of heart."

"It's the only way," he said, firmly. He raised his hand and whispered, "Flote." At first, Merlin thought nothing had happened. Then he noticed the knife hovering above the dead man in the stream.

Suddenly it darted straight at Merlin. In an instant Merlin's eyes glowed and the knife swerved to the side, at less than an arm's length from him.

He heard a guttural scream. The young woman toppled backwards, the knife embedded in her chest. It hit the woman in the stomach, and she toppled backwards. Merlin's eyes glowed again and Silas fell to the ground. He didn't need to look back to know he was dead.

Her light shirt was stained red, fast. Her breathing came in staggered gasps.

He turned toward Silas. The man's face was plastered with horror. He looked him in the eye as he sent him flying back with one deadly golden glow. His eyes stayed wide open, as if he were still frightened, even in death.

It was sort of fitting, Merlin thought.

Beside him, he heard one, strangled gasp, then nothing. Her breathing had stopped, and her eyes glazed over. Merlin realized he'd never even remembered her name.

At that point, he was overcome by exhaustion, and a desire to sink to the ground. He felt as if he hadn't eaten in over a day.

The cart wasn't far from him. He staggered over and held onto the sides.

At the top were the ropes and six cloaks. He pushed them aside to find six canteens, all full, and two loaves of bread. He opened one canteen and drank until it was empty. He also noticed two other things in there: his bag and Arthur's sword.

It was then that he heard a caw overhead. He looked up to see the crow swooping down, with a letter attached to its foot.

It landed on the cart. Merlin untied the string and read.

_You've done well, my friends. You shall be rewarded at camp._

_Morgana._

He tossed the letter aside. So Silas had told the truth about one thing. At least he didn't have to worry about her coming back now.

The crow sat on the edge of the cart, staring at him.

For what seemed like hours, Merlin stared back. Suddenly, he was struck by an idea. He rummaged through the cart again, finding the parchment, quill, and ink. Hastily he scribbled a note before attaching it to the bird's foot.

"Offlíeg ond mitte Guinevere Pendragon," he said. The bird flew off.

At that, Merlin grabbed a canteen and tore off some pieces of bread. It was time he faced the inevitable.

The cave opening _was_ wider now. He could see the crystals clearly.

As he approached, he could tell that Arthur's face was stone.

Magic flooded through him once more as he stepped into the cave, at first knocking him off balance. He decided that he really didn't like this place. Carefully, he knelt down beside Arthur. Up close, he could the alarming amount of purplish swelling in both of his arms. He was wearing only a shirt with torn sleeves, no armor. The sorcerers must have discarded it somewhere.

With the amount of pain Arthur must be in, there was no way he could stomach food. Merlin set the bread aside, and held out the water. "You need to drink," he said. He held the water out a little closer.

Arthur flinched, and turned his head away.

Merlin sighed, setting the canteen down beside the bread.

"Arthur…"

Arthur drew in a breath, defensive.

Merlin needed to see how much damage was done. He reached out to roll up his sleeve.

Arthur recoiled. "Don't touch me."

Merlin settled back. From what he could see, it would be months before Arthur was back to normal. The bones in his arms must have broken all the way through. It would be a slow, painful healing process.

Merlin shook his head. He would have to do this.

He held out his palms, hovering over Arthur's arms.

"Are you deaf, sorcerer? I said don't touch me."

Merlin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Gelácne dolgbenna," he incanted.

Arthur's eyes grew wide alarm. "What are you doing?"

"You said you wanted a faster way to heal. Here it is," Merlin said bitterly.

Arthur tensed. His eyes darted about, and he started breathing faster. But slowly, his muscles relaxed, and his breathing steady again. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, falling into a deep sleep.

It would take all day and all night for him to recover, Merlin guessed.

He figured Gwen would get his message, and the knights would come for him. The king would wake up in Camelot.

It was probably better. That way, he wouldn't have to talk to him again. That is, if the spell took the amount of time he thought it would... He chuckled, slightly. It wasn't long ago that he was desperate to find stronger, faster healing spells. Now he was hoping it would take as long as possible.

He didn't know how long he sat there. As Merlin walked out of the cave, he was struck by the scene before him. Six bodies, still, lifeless, spread out on the dirt and the rocks, as the sun was beginning to set in the sky. Ripples in the stream danced in orange and pink light, uncaring that there was a dead body and blood amongst them.

He had to wonder, was it worth it to fight Morgana anymore? After all, these were people like him, and now, he had their blood on his hands.

Merlin turned away. He would have to stay, he guessed, until the knights came. Besides, he was too weak to travel more than a few minutes.

He took some bread from the cart and found a place to sit, up against a log, facing out into the woods. He sank to the ground in exhaustion.

He stayed there and watched as the sun went down, the colors from the earth fading to gray.

* * *

Gwen stood at the window to her chamber, looking out at the courtyard. Arthur had left the previous morning, and had not returned.

When he wasn't back by that afternoon, she had sent out search parties. There was still no word of him.

People were busy, carrying baskets and pulling carts and going about their usual business. She noticed two boys and a girl, all battling each other with sticks. A smile found the corner of her lips. It reminded her of what she used to do with Elyan.

Suddenly the girl stopped, and shouted, "Higgly-wiggly!"

The two boys froze, then one pretended to fall to the ground. "Arrest her!" the other one said. They both stomped forward, and pretending to tie her hands together.

"No, I will have my revenge!" she yelled, playfully. "Pollywiggle!" The two boys fell to the ground, pretending to choke, and laughing.

Her breath hitched, and she turned away. It was a common game for children to play. She remembered it herself. That's because sorcery was bad. Sorcery was evil. It's what she had been raised on.

It was what she had believed.

A breeze brushed past her, blowing her hair. Looking back, she didn't know how she could have thought Mira was guilty. She should have been able to tell.

As much as she hated Uther, his teachings had seeped into her mind like a poison. Suddenly, she felt a rush of fury. That sick, twisted tyrant had brainwashed her, and she hadn't even realized.

She looked back out to the courtyard. Some of the adults had begun to notice, and they smiled.

Her and the rest of Camelot, apparently.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Enter," she said.

The door creaked open, and Gaius walked in.

"Gaius," she said, half surprised.

He stopped just before the window, taking in her expression. His face softened. "I can't help but notice you seem distracted lately."

Gwen shook her head. "It's nothing, Gaius. I just haven't been getting enough sleep." She turned back to the window and drew in a deep breath, letting it out shakily.

"I could give you something to help calm your nerves if you would like."

She shook her head again. "No, I don't need it. But thank you for offering."

Gaius nodded, then inclined his head before turning to leave.

"Gaius wait," she said suddenly.

He stopped.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Gwen," he said gently.

Gwen took another deep breath. She didn't know how to ask what had been tugging at the corners of her mind. But... she had to know. "Does Merlin have magic?"

His eyes flickered with fright. For a moment, Gwen felt guilty. "Not that I am aware of, my lady. Why do you ask?"

"The way he spoke up at the meeting. It made me wonder."

Gaius paused, taking this in. "Merlin... merely believes in the rights of those who have magic. He is compassionate towards all."

Gwen nodded. She could tell he was being cautious.

And lying.

For good reason, she thought. "Thank you, Gaius."

The physician inclined his head and then turned to leave.

"Oh, and one more thing," she said, softly.

Gaius stiffened briefly before he turned.

"Even if he did, I wouldn't punish him for it. I've learned my lesson."

His eyes widened in surprise. She thought she could see the hint of a smile on his face before he walked out and shut the door.

The moment the door was closed she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Yes, she had learned her lesson, she thought. But it was too late to save her friend. Merlin had run, and he would keep running. And she didn't blame him for it one bit.

Would Arthur find out that Merlin had magic, she wondered? She didn't know. She just hoped that if he did, he had learned his lesson as well. If not, his tantrum just might be heard across the seas.


	9. Confrontation

Merlin's eyes snapped open. It was pitch black, and branches were snapping. He squinted, trying to make out the lines of the trees. He saw nothing. The thrashing was getting louder, and closer. Something, or someone, was tearing through the bushes, not bothering to be quiet at all.

He had rested against a log, he remembered. He must have fallen asleep. In the dark, he felt around, as the snapping approached. The dirt was soft and damp from the dew. His fingers scraped against the bark of what he presumed was the log. He placed his palm down, using the fallen tree to push himself up.

Suddenly, the snapping stopped.

"Who's there?" he called, immediately regretting it as he felt something cold and sharp touch his back. He should have stayed silent.

"Why don't you light a magic fire and find out?"

The voice was cold. Arthur. He had expected him to sleep through the night, and through much of the day. It occurred to him that this was the second time he had fallen asleep against a log and Arthur found him. It was getting to be a reoccurrence.

Merlin stayed quiet, the sword pressed against his back. He clenched his fists, then relaxed. He really, really did not like being threatened with sharp, pointy objects. "Forbearnan," he whispered.

Arthur screamed. The sword dropped from Merlin's back and thudded against the ground. Merlin whirled around. A lone, gentle flame swayed on the sword's hilt.

Merlin's eyes glowed, and the flame disappeared. Everything was black again.

"What. Was _that_?" Arthur threatened.

Merlin's eyes flashed again, and this time, a small fire burst to life between them. Arthur's face was contorted in rage in the glowing firelight.

"You know what it feels like to be burned, Arthur?"

Arthur's face became hollow. He kept his gaze steadily on Merlin.

"Because that's what happens when you are a sorcerer sentenced to death. You burn." Merlin paused. Arthur's gaze was beginning to waver. "Only it doesn't stop. The flames keep tearing off your flesh until you are nothing but ashes."

Merlin took a step closer, and Arthur backed away.

Merlin couldn't help but chuckle. "Funny, how you're afraid, when the entire time I've lived in Camelot, I was afraid of you." He took another step. "Of what you would do once you found out."

They stood in silence as a breeze came by and brightened the flames. The flames died back down, and the two of them continued to stand, facing each other on opposite sides of the fire.

Arthur shook his head. "So this is what it was all about."

Merlin tilted his head, curious as to what he was referring to.

"This is why you defended that sorceress. Why you were angry." He paused. "Why you wanted me to free magic." To Merlin's surprise, he broke off and began to laugh, bitterly.

Merlin stood, wondering where this was going to go. Somehow, whenever he imagined this moment, he never imagined Arthur laughing.

"How did I not see it before?" Arthur said, still half laughing. Then he sighed and shook head again, his bitter laughter gone. "Why, Merlin?" he asked harshly.

The change in tone was abrupt. "Why what?"

"No, don't play games with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Merlin eyed him warily. He could tell that Arthur was angry, but not much more. "No, I really don't."

Arthur's eyes widened in disbelief. "Are you really that much of an _idiot_?"

His voice stung. It wasn't the usual teasing anymore. It was spiteful. "Maybe I should ask the same of you," Merlin bit back. "After all, I've used magic since the day I set foot in Camelot, and you've never noticed."

Arthur looked pained for a moment before his expression hardened again. "I'm giving you a chance to explain yourself, even though I shouldn't. Now, tell me, why did you practice magic?"

"I was born with magic," Merlin replied, as calmly as he could. He was tired of arguing. He waited for a reaction.

Arthur drove his foot into the ground. "Damn it, Merlin, I told you not to play games with me."

"I'm not. I was born-"

"No, stop it." Arthur came forward, scowling. "I don't care if you were born with it. You lived in Camelot, and willingly practiced magic. You've learned sorcery and apparently gained enough power to kill six sorcerers on your own. So I ask you again, _why_ did you practice magic?"

Merlin stayed silent. Arthur stared at him, eyes cold. Melin was about to tell him about his destiny, how Arthur was meant to become the king that would return magic to Camelot. Instead, Merlin sighed. "Truth is, I wanted to help you."

Arthur was bewildered. "Help me?"

Merlin nodded.

"By using magic?"

He nodded again.

"The very thing that has brought more suffering to Camelot than anything else?"

"Magic never brought suffering—"

"Have you not lived in Camelot for the past, oh, I don't know, how many years?" Arthur's voice rose.

"I—"

"I'm starting to think that maybe you haven't. Because the Merlin I know would never do this."

"For once in your life, would you just _listen_?"

Arthur froze, the statement sinking in.

Merlin began in a calm manner, despite his own voice having rose. "I used magic to save your life, many times. Why, you asked? Because I thought you would become a great king."

Arthur opened his mouth to protest, but Merlin held up his hand, stopping him.

"As I was going to say, magic never brought suffering to Camelot. People did. People who were tired of death hanging over their heads because of who they were. I thought that when the time came, you would see that. You would see through the lies your father taught you. And then, you didn't."

"Merlin—"

"I understand that you were scared, I really do. You saw golden eyes, and then you were on fire. With everything that's happened in Camelot, I can see how you thought she was guilty at first."

Arthur's eyes bore into his, his expression blank.

"But afterwards? You should have known. She wasn't attacking any further. She even tried to put the fire out." Merlin paused. He maintained his composure throughout. "Did you ever even consider why she didn't use any magic after that?"

Arthur continued to stare. Merlin couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"It was because she couldn't. She had never learned."

Arthur's brow wrinkled.

"Even after that horrible mistake, I was willing to forgive you. To give you another chance. That's why I spoke up, and tried to get you to listen. But of course, you didn't. So now, because of you, innocents had to die."

They stood in dark silence, the exception being the fire that stood between them. They each heard a rustling nearby, but then it stopped. Merlin wondered briefly who it was, then he decided he didn't care.

Arthur looked away briefly. He seemed more worn than before. "You can't blame me for my father's sins."

_Ouch_, Merlin thought. It was the exact phrase Arthur had said to Morgana. It was heartbreaking to hear. "I never did." He wasn't Morgana, he added to himself.

Arthur looked away briefly. He seemed more worn than before. "So this is really it, then?" He asked, his voice indifferent. "You're just going to betray me, and then leave."

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "I never betrayed you, Arthur."

"_Treason_ isn't betraying me?"

"I betrayed the law, not you. And a stupid law, at that."

"I am the king. Betraying the law is betraying me."

Merlin gave him a cold stare. Once again he had the sense that they were being watched, by more than one person, although he couldn't see anyone. He decided that he didn't really care. "I already told you, I did everything to save you, for all of those years."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

Merlin shrugged. He was tired of trying to make the prat listen. Arthur stared at him, long and hard. It was as if the forest was holding its breath, waiting for something to happen.

Arthur took one step forward. "How do I know, that for all of those years, you weren't trying to kill me?" His voice was lower, more threatening.

Merlin locked his eyes with Arthur's. Could he really think that, Merlin wondered? Of all the years he spent by his side... They were quiet for a long, long time, listening to the rustling of leaves in the forest. Then suddenly Merlin's eyes flashed. A bolt of white lightning struck down, inches from Arthur, blinding them.

There were screams, and three people rushed forward. Arthur, hair frizzed, stared in shock at the smoking ground beside him.

The people were Gwen, Leon, and Elyan. So they must have gotten his letter. He was somewhat surprised, since he hadn't expected them to travel through the night.

Arthur snatched up his sword from the ground, seemingly having forgotten that it was on fire earlier. His jaw clenched tight, he pointed it directly at Merlin.

For a second, Merlin froze. It was the exact frame he had seen in the Crystal Cave. The angle of the sword, the livid expression, everything. But quickly he brushed it off. He hadn't seen anything of importance in the cave, anyway, so he would have no clue what this meant. And he was glad to keep it that way.

Arthur's knuckles grew white from his grip on the sword, and his arm was shaking. Merlin waved his hand, and the sword flew out of Arthur's grasp. Arthur's gaze followed it, then he turned back to Merlin, hurt.

The knights stared at Merlin, paralyzed by shock. The only one who moved was Gwen, who bit her lip.

Merlin turned and began to walk away.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur shouted. Merlin kept walking.

"No, don't go!" Gwen ran up to him and grabbed hold of his arm.

Merlin stopped and whirled around. He realized she wasn't in surprised at all by his display of magic. She simply looked… sorrowful.

"You knew," Merlin said, blandly.

Gwen gave a short nod.

"How?"

"I… guessed. The way you spoke up in defense of magic…. And then I guess I spied on you and Gaius," she added.

Merlin's eyes widened. He hadn't realized she had done that. He did remember one day when he thought there was someone outside of Gaius' chambers... He couldn't really blame her for it, though. It was the same thing he always did.

"Look, Merlin, I'm sorry—"

"I know," Merlin said. "You don't have to apologize again."

"If there's anything I can do…"

Merlin looked down. He didn't know if there really was anything. After a moment of silence, Merlin turned to keep walking. He planned to keep doing so, until he was stopped by the view of the cave.

The entrance had widened now, and the crystals were clearly visible. They gave off a soft, blue glow against the black night, illuminating the rocky cave floor and the ground just outside. He continued to stare, in awe, until he saw golden shimmers begin to swirl amongst the blue. Quickly he turned away. It was then that he realized Gwen had followed. She stared into the cave, mesmerized.

Merlin, slowly, began to walk away. The sorcerers' cart was still there. He figured he would take it. And luckily, he could see the faintest bit of light over the treetops.

Gwen seemed to notice. She turned his way and looked at him. He felt bad, leaving like this, without even saying goodbye. Especially since he didn't even know where he was going. Although technically, by law, he was now banished.

He lifted his palm, and allowed his eyes to flash. A small, royal blue flower formed in his hand, glowing, a darker color than that of the cave.

Gwen's eyes widened. Merlin tossed the flower out between them. Once it landed, its light faded.

Gwen stared at what was now a plain, blue flower, lying on the ground in the night. Its glow was only evanescent. Merlin began to walk away, pulling the cart behind him. He looked back once to see her still standing there, watching him, alone under the night sky. He could see dawn just beginning.


End file.
